


The Godfather

by N8schatten



Series: The Godfather [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Just another AU, So I'm changing it., There isn't enough Bill River interaction!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N8schatten/pseuds/N8schatten
Summary: Bill Potts had been in the system since she was two. After the death of her mother. She had no family, no pictures of her mum. But a lot of bad experience.And she had a necklace with interlacing circles on it.So she really wasn't prepared for the day she meet a woman with bigger hair than her's and the chaos she would bring.
Relationships: Heather (Doctor Who: The Pilot)/Bill Potts, Twelfth Doctor/River Song
Series: The Godfather [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076084
Comments: 18
Kudos: 44





	1. The stalker

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I know I have other stories and to be honest this was meant to be a single chapter story…whoops  
> I'm trying to get this done with the next chapter, but I think this will be a three chapter story!  
> Also, this is for Cynic's, because I promised her I would give her Amy+12 interaction and once I'm done with this I'll do it! I promise!
> 
> Also I put "Tardis" in the chapter somewhere and I'm really interested in fining out if anyone can find where.
> 
> Love Raven

If you ask Bill for a reason why her life could turn upside down, she would have answered: “The day I finally ask Heather out.” Which honestly was fair, because asking Heather out was kind of world turning. But it wasn’t the day Bill's world made a complete 180. It still had to do with meeting a gorgeous woman that would make her knee’s wobble, but not in the way she had thought.

“BILL!” Ashildr’s call was high pitched and panicked. She just rolled her eyes, smiled while she finished serving her customer and only then did she turn to the kitchen. Ashildr, while a wonderful and lovable crazy person, couldn’t work with most kitchen appliances to save her life. Something that regularly blew Bill's mind, because that girl could hack the Secret Service, but not work a mixer. 

“How the hell are you our cook?” Bill asked half laughing half crying over the mess and helped Ashildr clean the kitchen.

“Because outside of working with those hell things, I’m the best cook Mr. Renfrew could afford in this shit show of a cafe!”

Bill silently agreed, but didn’t say a word, because the only reason why she was working here was the same. Mr. Renfrew couldn’t afford anyone older, because they probably would demand more money for less hours. Bill was only sixteen, so her boss could get away with paying her just enough to not get arrested and at the same time make her work whenever she could. 

The only reason why she wasn’t arguing with the man, was because she needed the money. 

Bill Potts was a sixteen years old orphan in the system and while she probably had hit the Forster-jackpot, with Moira. Her Forster mum was also…strict? Bill really didn’t know how to describe it, but while Moira was really great, when it came to accepting Bill and being a good Forster mum. She just was so…stiff. To this day Bill couldn’t find it in her to tell Moira that she wouldn’t bring a boy home anytime soon, because for all Bill cared, boy’s could become extinct and she would be happy. Or in other words Bill was a raging lesbian and proud of it, but she just couldn’t be sure about Moira’s reaction and she preferred to have a save home over being out of the closet. Especially since Bill had seen the other side of the first system. 

“Ok, that would be all.” Bill said and just then Kitty threw the doors open. “Bill, I beg you, come back. I can’t serve every table and…” Bill waved Ashildr goodbye and ducked out of the kitchen. Somehow in the ten minutes she had been occupied the cafe had filled and had descended into pure madness. 

“Oh shit.” Bill muttered and started working again.

Half an hour later Bill’s feet killed her, she couldn’t remember the last essay she had written for school, but she knew the orders of ten different tables and she only needed to serve this one woman and she could go home. So Bill approached the woman and tried her best to smile. 

“Hi, welcome to Graystark cafe what can I bring you.” 

There was a moment, when the woman was only looking at the menu and Bill could just look at her. The woman was just beautiful. Like honest to god, breath taking gorgeous and to be honest Bill's brain kind of short circuited a bit seeing her. It was impossible to tell how old the lady was, because, while there were crow feet around her eyes and smaller wrinkles on her face, she had an air of youth and energy around her that made Bill think she couldn’t be older than twenty nine. And the hair. The woman’s reddish blond hair was wildly curled and just as big as Bill's own, even if she was almost sure it was worse than her own.

“I’d like some black tea and some Jammie…” And then she looked up. For a moment Bill was sure the woman would faint on her. Because all colour just left her face and she looked at Bill like she was seeing a ghost. 

“O my god.” Bill managed to say and barley catched the menu the woman had dropped. “Are you alright?” Bill asked and when she looked again, the woman was still unhealthily pale, but at least looked a bit more relaxed. 

“Yeah… I… it’s…” Bill watched with morbid fascination how the woman stopped her rambling, took a deep breath and just returned to the relaxed person she had been a minute before. 

“Black tea and some Jammie Dodgers please.” 

Bill blinked at the woman for a moment, but then plastered her best customer smile on her face and nodded. “Alright, that won’t be a problem. I’ll take your order to the kitchen and then my colleague will bring it to you, because my shift is over, is that alright?” 

The woman smiled brightly and nodded and Bill quickly wrote the order down as she returned to the kitchen.

“Hey Kitty?” She asked as she handed the slip to Ashildr. “Do me a favor and don’t charge the Lady on table 24 for the Jammie Dodgers, will you?” She asked and Kitty liked her. “What?”

“The biscuits are on me, she looked like she was about to faint and I’m a bit worried.” Bill answered and Kitty sighed with fond amusement. “You are a goodie two shoes, Bill.” She said and then shooed her through the kitchen. “Now get changed and go home, you idiot.”

Bill laughed and left.

***

Two days later, when Bill came into the cafe for her next shift, Kitty grabbed her and pulled her aside. She looked worried and a bit nervous. “You’re alright?” She asked and Bill frowned. “I’m fine. Why?” Kitty looked around and then turned back to Bill.

“Do you remember the lady from Tuesday?” Just when Bill was about to ask, Kitty to be a bit more specific, she elaborated. "The one with the big hair, that almost fainted?” 

Bill nodded. She had thought a lot about that one, especially wondering if everything was alright. After all she hadn’t seen that woman again.

“She asked about you. Like weirdly specific questions. Who you are, your name and where you live.” Kitty looked around once more. “I didn’t say much, but I did tell her your name, because I thought she wanted to thank you. It’s just the way she asked the other questions. Bill it freaked me out.”

Bill blinked and felt her gut churn. Why would that woman ask for her? Was she from that home Bill had… No! Bill shook her head and smiled at Kitty. "It’s alright. I know you don’t mean any harm and I haven’t seen her since Tuesday, so it’s fine and…”

Just then an explosion was heard from the kitchen and both Kitty and Bill turned and ran for the kitchen. They didn’t talk about the woman again.

***

“Look I don’t like that much either, but it’s a school thing and you have to go!” Moira said, but even her foster mum looked displeased, by the idea of press day. It was a yearly thing at Bills school and everyone including the teachers, excluding the headmaster hated it. 

Every year all the students had to sit down, one at a time to discuss a topic in front of a running camera. They had about five minutes to make their arguments and in the end every clip was reviewed, by the staff (that’s why the teachers hated it so much) and the winner was announced to the whole school. The worst thing it wasn’t just a day, no, since the whole school had to do it it was a whole fucking week of doing this. Every day another year. Oh and the top twenty clips were played in front of the whole school too. Bill was very happy that she wasn’t good at speeches. But Felicity had sat through two years of her clip being the second best. It was just cruel.

There was no price, but the experience and everyone hated it. Nobody could stop it. Bill sighed and grabbed her book back. “Well I’m off then." She said and stretched the words in the unsaid, but very loud hope, Moira would change her mind and call the school. She didn’t.

Instead she looked at Bill with amusement and shook her head. “It can’t be that bad.” Bill just whined. “It is!” 

Moira giggled and Bill huffed. She was almost out of the door, when Moira called her back.

“Oh and Bill?” “Mhm?” She stuck her head back into the door. “Someone called yesterday and asked for you. A woman. She asked some questions about you, but didn’t give me her name. Do you know anything about that?” 

Bill's stomach made a flit and suddenly she remembered Kitty’s comment the other week. Could someone find her just with her name? No, Bill was just her nickname, there wasn’t a chance that someone could find her right?

“Bill?” Moira asked and Bill forced a smile. “No” She said and waved Moira goodbye. 

***

That day Bill felt strange. She had the feeling that she was watched the whole time and she just felt really uncomfortable. So when Heather finally walked around the corner with Shireen, Harry and Pavel for the way to school. Bill wasn’t really paying attention.

“Hey.” A soft hand grabbed hers and Bill couldn’t even blush about the fact that Heather. HEATHER! Was holding her hand, because all she could do was imagine the face of the woman that apparently was stalking her.

“Everything alright?” Heather asked and Bill blushed a bit. Heather was wonderful. She was funny, kind and soo pretty. She just was perfect and every time Bill was around her or worse, Heather smiled at her, Bill's knees got all wobbly.

“Yeah.” Bill mumbled and even to herself it sounded wrong and pathetic. Heather frowned harder. “Are you sure?” Bill looked at her friend and crush and gave up.

“It’s probably nothing, but since last Tuesday there is someone asking for me.” Heather frowned and Bill backtracked. “It’s probably nothing, because I only can say that that woman asked for me at my work and I have no idea if she really is the same person that called Moira, but…” 

Heather squeezed Bill's hand and smiled at her. There was worried in her eyes, but seeing her smile was enough for Bill to relax a bit. 

“It will be fine and we find out who she is. I promise you.” 

Bill smiled and oh gosh she wanted to kiss Heather, but she didn’t even know if Heather liked girls to, or if she liked Bill and she didn’t want to assume and.

“Oi, Bill.” Pavel thankfully saved Bill just then.

***

“Oh I hate this!” Bill grumbled as she packed her stuff. Their teacher had called in illl, so their last period was free. Still they hadn’t been the class to record that day, so that meant they could be the next ones. Or they would have to wait until the end of the week.

“Me too.” Heather said and Bill smiled over to her. Shireen threw her arm around both of their shoulders and just slummed down on them. Bill squeaked and Heather cursed, but neither of them said anything, just supported their friend. 

“Gosh I hate you sometimes!” Bill said and Shireen grinned at her. “Aww…” She said and Bill just rolled her eyes.

“I mean it!” Bill grumbled and Shireen grinned even wider. “So how much do we bet that Ms. Lem will kill the headmaster this year?” 

There was a beat of silence and then their whole group resolved into laughter. Loud belly shaking laughter. Tasha Lem was their home room teacher was known for her whole witch esthetic and everyone knew that she probably was practicing too. The headmaster was more of a protestant church guy and the topic of this year was: “The true religion” 

From what Bill had heard from the younger students that had sat through their recording already, it had become a sport to make up the most ridiculous thing possible. At least the students that didn’t belong to any religion. All the other students, those who were Jewish or Muslims or any other religion they actually really went all out and did their best to highlight the most beautiful features and traditions their religion had. Bill really hoped that the teachers could get their way and let someone who deserved it win and not the person Dr. Octavian liked the most.

“I heard about Liza’s younger sister. Apparently she made up this really amazing religion and for most of the time it sounded almost completely like the normal church Octavian goes to, but her last sentence was something along the lines of: We are the church of the silence. Everyone knows our priest, but nobody can remember them, because they are aliens that you forget the moment you look away.” 

Paul said over dramatically and Bill almost toppled over her feet. “She didn’t!?” She asked and Pavel nodded with a grin. "I stood next to Liza when she told the story to Paul. She was almost crying.” 

“I give you one better!” Felicity said. “Do you Remember John Wood? The son of Miss Eliza?” She asked and They nodded slowly. The boy was really good at geography and had an infinite knowledge about fossils. “He brought one of his fossils into the room with him and started to explain, why they symbolized the only true god the Celts worshiped and how this is the proof that god is a woman.” There were some smothered giggles, but Felicity held out her hand, telling them to wait, because it got better.

“He called them the symbols of Eliza.” 

Bill was the first to react. “OH MY GOD,” She said and tried her best to not sound like she was seeing a puppy. “Are you telling me he called his mum a goddess in front of half our teachers?” Felicity nodded with a smile. They all resolved into awning and laughter again.

“I mean.” Pavel said. His face was serious. “He’s not wrong. Miss Eliza is by far the most competent English teacher I ever had.” They nodded and Heather spoke up. “So, what do we do to make him win?” 

Bill laughed and joked with her friend, for a moment longer, but then she just stopped in the middle of the hallway.

In front of the door arguing with the secretary that was sitting there was a man. He was tall and thin and his hair looked almost like Albert Einsteins, but it wasn’t really white just yet. It was more of a silver grey and with much wilder curls. He looked like he was about to cry and explode at the same time and something inside Bill wanted to hug him and make him feel better. It was an instinct she thought she had outgrown, during her last two foster homes before Moira. Especially after the fire, but here she was wanting to comfort a complete stranger on whim.

But that wasn’t what had made her stop. Behind the man, more clearly to see, because she stood tall and proud, unlike the man who was bowed down to lean on the counter, was the woman.

It was the exact same woman that Bill had severed last week. The same woman that had asked Kitty for her and that probably had called Moira yesterday. Bill was sure it was the same woman. Deathly sure to be exact. She had the same wildly curly hair that somehow was bigger than Bills. The same ageless air around her and a sense of danger, Bill just now realized had been there the whole time. 

She stood behind the man, looking almost as miserable as him, even though she hid it better. Bill only saw it, because the straightness with which the woman stood was unnatural. It was too straight, too tense to be real. The woman was waiting for something to happen. For something really bad to happen and Bill had the feeling it had to do with the man that was arguing with the secretary. Bill could hear the man and the pure desperation in his voice made her heart arch.

“Look I understand, you can’t give me anything, but I only need five minutes, you can be there too. Hell the headmaster can be there, for all I care, but I need to see…” 

“I already told you Sir. I can not allow you to see any of our students and if you won’t leave now I’ll call out security. And if they see you outside our property waiting for a student, we’ll call the police.”

“Please I…”

“Bill.” She started so bad she jumped. All of her friends had stopped a few feet away from her and were looking at her with worry. 

“Hey are you alright?” Heather asked and stepped closer. “You’re really pale.” Bill gulped and nodded to the pair. 

“Remember what I told you about the woman that was asking for me at the cafe and called Moira?” She asked and at one all of her friends turned their heads. Realisation was clear on all their faces. Bill hadn’t told them anything more that she had told Heather. In fact she only had mentioned it in passing, trying to forget about it, but they all understood what she was saying. 

“Fuck” Paul muttered and then the woman turned to them.

“FUCK” Pavel hissed through his teeth and said something more. Bill didn’t hear him. 

She was completely fixed on the woman, who’s eyes had widened, when she had seen her. Bill watched her reach out and touched the back of the man lightly. He stopped his begging argument with the secretary and turned to her. It was startling how easily he reacted to a simple touch. The woman nodded in their direction and the man turned. Bill could really see his face for the first time. He looked exhausted, haunted. His hair was even more in disarray from the fron that it looked from the side. There were dark bags under his eyes and somehow the wrinkles on his face looked more like deep cracks than natural signs of aging. Bill couldn’t really see his eyes from the distance, but she could see his eyebrows and somehow those thick silver lines of hair to look distressed and defeated and broken.

At least they did until the man saw Bill. Bill watched with fascination how his eyebrows rose with shock. How his eyes widened and somehow his wrinkled seemed to disappear. Suddenly he looked decades younger. He whispered and let out a breath something almost like a sigh, that Bill couldn’t hear, but see, because his whole body just sacked into itself a bit. All tension and fear leaving his body and turning into something different. She knew that look. Hope, foolish happy hope to finally, finally find a home. A real home. She had seen it on the other foster children she had met over the years. The foolish hope of family. Why was he looking at her like that?

And then the man started walking. The secretary screamed something, but neither the man or the woman listened to her. Out of her peripheral vision Bill could see the woman grabbing for her phone, but she really didn’t care, because there was a man walking straight towards her. 

Her whole friend group moved at once. Pavel and Paul jumped before her, their shoulders almost touching blocking the man’s way. Shireen stood right behind them. Most people wouldn’t think it with the way Shireen jumped at every noise, but she was freakishly good at martial arts.

Heather grabbed Bill's hands and Felicity did the same but stood half a step before Bill. 

“Bill.” The man said and Bill realized that he was Scottish. He sounded so fucking hopefully and broke and Bill suddenly realized she was shaking. Why was she shaking? Why was she remembering his voice? Why…wait what? And then Bill realized that she was indeed remembering his voice even though his face looked familiar.

“Who the fuck are you and what do you want?” Pavel asked angrily and startled Bill a bit. Heather looked at her worriedly. 

“I…” The man faltered and looked over his shoulder. The woman stood right beside him and she was touching his back again, smiling softly. She said something, but Bill couldn’t understand what. It was a strange language she couldn’t understand. Soft and melodic, but with harsh undertones. A shiver ran down Bill's spine as she gasped for air. Heather squeezed her hand harder.

“I just need to talk to Bill.” 

“Bullshit.” Shireen said hotly and even from behind her, Bill could see how the girl melted away and the fighter came out. “You only want to talk, that’s why you’re stalking Bill and are asking questions about her and calling her mum.” 

Bill noticed how the man jerked a bit when Shireen called Moira her mum.

“That was me actually.” The woman said and Bill noticed that she had a glimmer in her eyes. Appreciation and something like in respect, like she could see the way Shireen was about to fight her. 

“Yeah and?” Paul asked and crossed his arms. “You're still stalking her and for all we know you could want to kidnap her!” The man’s eyes snapped to Paul and he looked absolutely dumbfounded. “What no, why would we try to kidnap…” His eyes jumped back up to Bill and she could see his eyes from the distance. They were a startling blue. Like an ice blue, but they seemed warm and familiar. For some reason Bill could see them, when they twinkled with a grin. How the eyebrows would squeeze together and his eyes narrow, when he laughed.

“Oh god.” The man swooned. His voice was barely understandable with how thick his accent got and then he grabbed for the woman’s arm at the same time as she stepped closer grabbing him. She looked concerned and there was some kind of fear in her eyes that Bill couldn’t understand. “Sweetie!” All the steel and danger had left the woman’s voice. There was only concern and love left and Bill felt warmth rising in her. The word, Sweetie, she always had liked it, but it never felt right, when other people had said it. But this woman. From her it sounded right, like the word was made just for her.

“You look so much like your mother.” 

The man’s words felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Like getting hit in the chest with a ball at full speed during dodgeball. Bill gasped and swooned, because she never knew her mum, there were no memories. No pictures. Nobody could even tell her who her mum was, because nobody really knew, because most of Bill's documents had burned down, there wasn’t much left and the few things that were, were sealed off somewhere. 

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Pavel shouted and grabbed for the man, but he didn’t even flinch. The woman grabbed Pavel and effortlessly shoved him to the side. Shireen jumped into his place, but she was fixated on the woman, so the man stepped past Paul and closer to Bill. 

Felicity and Heather made a step closer. 

The man's eyes were still fixed on Bill, like she was his lifeline. Like if he couldn’t see her any longer he would drown. And if he looked away she would disperse. Bill wasn't even sure if he was blinking. 

“You’re Wilhelmina, right? Wilhelmina Potts. You mum was Melody Potts, am I right?”

Bill gasped. Nobody in this life knew her mom's name. At least no one outside her friend group and Moira, because Bill had a locket. A small golden locket with strange circles on it that said  _ Melody and Bill. _ That on the back said _For my girls, The Doctor_.

Bill blinked, because she couldn’t see any longer. Everything was starting to look mushy and Bill whipped at her eyes almost aggressively.

“Who the hell are you?” She spat out even though it sounded weak and watery and the man let out a little strangled laugh. “You are her. I finally found you. River we found her.” He turned a bit, only a few degrees to the side and looked at the woman, River. His face was relaxed and happy and when he turned back to Bill she could see the twinkle in his eyes. She could see how his eyebrows had gotten closer and that his eyes were a bit narrowed. 

“I’m…” And suddenly he lost the smile and looked so pained again. “It will sound crazy, but…I knew your mum.” He said and somehow it sounded like a punch again.

“I was there when you were born and I took…” He stopped again and looked at Bill.

She wondered what he was seeing. A teary eyed, afraid girl that needed her friends to stay upright. She wonders if her mum was like this too.

“I’m…” He stopped again and reached into his jacket pocket. Her friends tensed, but Bill just couldn’t imagine that he would pull out something bad. And she was right. He pulled out a photograph. It was old, the edges round and if she would guess she would say it was alway in a pocked. Always close to him.

He turned the picture and showed it to Bill. There was him and River, grinning widely into the camera and between them, holding a baby was a woman that looked almost like Bill. Her hair was braided and her nose was different, but she looked a lot like Bill. And she was wearing the necklace. The same necklace as the baby in the picture. The necklace that the baby- that was Bill- was nagging on. 

“I’m you godfather Bill, or I was meant to be.”

The words didn’t feel like a punch. In fact they felt more like someone had pulled the ground from beneath her feet and the air out of her lungs and now she was falling and falling and she just couldn’t breath.

And then Heather screamed.

“Then where the hell have you been? Bill’s mum died when she was two! She’s sixteen now. That's fourteen years you’ve been missing out. What didn’t you want any of the responsibilities of raising a child and come back now to get the easy way out?” 

The man jerked back so hard Bill thought he would fall like she was. The worst thing was, Bill felt the need to stop Heather, because she could see the pain and the regret and a grieve in his eyes. The blame for not being there. The pain of missing fourteen years.

“I would never…” 

“THEN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” And that was why Bill didn’t move, because she wanted to know. She wanted to know why she was in foster care when she had a godfather, a guardian that looked at her like that. Why had she seen the worst of humanity if she could have a godfather that had wanted her?

“That’s my fault.” River said and everyone looked at her. “River” He sounded strangled like that was something they had discussed so many times. Like he tried every time to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, but never succeeded.

“My job…I’m an archaeologist and that means I travel a lot. When Bill was two, before her mother died, John accompanied me to a dig.” Her voice was precise and to the point, but Bill could hear the slight waver in it. The fear she tried to push down. 

“It shouldn’t have taken more than six months, three at best, but something happened and I ended up in a coma for four years, my whole team dead and John the only one awake. He wasn’t allowed out of the hospital for a year and then they wouldn’t let him leave the close proximity until the day I woke up. We weren’t allowed to get any calls or messages. The only reason people knew we were alive was, because it was in the news for weeks.”

River stopped and this time she was the one taking the man’s, John’s hand.

“By the time we returned to Britain. Five years were gone and Bill was gone too.” She looked at Bill again and Bill could see the smallest hint of hope in her eyes. Like River still wasn’t allowing herself to hope. Like she refused to give in and believe she could forgive herself.  “We spent a year fighting the authorities and wading through the bog that’s the bureaucracy of the Foster system. There were so many lost documents, so many documents with missing information. And when we finally thought we found Bill.” 

She looked back to Bill at that and Bill knew where she was. She knew what River had seen and thought. The fire rose around Bill she couldn’t breath and she was so afraid.

“There was a burned down building with four children burned too badly to be identified. They told us Bill was gone and gave us the body that seemed to be hers.” 

Bill saw her friends deflate and glance at her. She had told them about the fire and about Mr. Saxon last year. She had told them why she hated candles and closed rooms and why she preferred the darkness to dim light. They knew and all fight had left them, because they seemed to realize that Bill was only one side of the coin.

“We thought we brought Bill home eight years ago.” River said and Bill could hear the wavering in her voice. The pain of losing someone.

Bill couldn’t feel anything. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t feel anything. She was still in the air hanging there. Not feeling, not really breathing. Not knowing what to do.

“Until you meet me in the cafe.” Bill startled herself by saying it, but River only nodded.

“I thought I saw a ghost, but you were wearing the necklace John made four you and Melody the day he found out she was pregnant. And you looked so much like your mum and…” River shrugged and laughed a bit helplessly and there were tears in her eyes. 

“We had spent most of the last eight years traveling or in London. We only came back here, because one of our friends demanded it and because the uni offered us the jobs.”

Bill wanted to say something, anything, but before she could the security guard run around the corner and the secretary started to talk to him.

“No.” Bill mumbled and Paul shot her a soft smile as he jogged over to the two adults.

“I hate this.” River said and laid her hand back onto John's arm. “But I don’t think we can stay any longer.” Even though she talked to Bill it sounded like it was meant for John. He shot a look over his shoulder, scoffed and then deflated. He cursed or at least it sounded like a curse in that strange language and then turned back to Bill. 

“Damn it.” He said and then rummaged through his jacket pockets. He pulled a pen out from somewhere and jotted something down on the back of the photo. When he put the pen away he held it out for Bill to grab.

“Here. That’s my number and our address on the back and my office number at the uni. I know just telling you here that I’m your godfather isn’t enough and that you probably need more and that you need to meet us again, but…”

He hesitated and smiled at her. It wasn’t reaching his eyes and it looked a bit pained, but Bill understood and she took the photo gingerly. She turned it over and looked at the note on the backside.

_ 24 Darilliumlane _

_ - _

_ 0720 1184919 _

_ - _

_ Department for Physics _

_ Second floor office 12 _

_ St. Johns University _

When she looked back up his smile was a bit realer. “You don’t need to call, you can just show up. We are home at six every day except Mondays for me and Thursday’s for River. You’re always welcome.” He looked at them all and his smile got even realer. “All of you.”

And then the secretary and the security guard reached them.

John turned around, but River made a step towards Bill, she smiled and before Bill knew wat was happening River had enveloped her into a hug. For a moment Bill was frozen. She could still feel Heather's hand in hers and she could hear the guard call out, but at the same time all she could feel was River’s hug.

It felt like home and family and it was so familiar that Bill wanted to cry. “I’m so happy I found you.” She heard River whisper and Bill finally wrapped her arms around the woman. “You can talk to me whenever you want. I’m there for you I promise.” River whispered and then leaned back just enough that Bill could see her eyes. “I usually answer the phone.” She said and then let go.

They all watched as River and John were escorted out of the school and John turned at least three times back to her. 

Bill held the picture of her mum tightly to her chest and only when the door snapped shut did she allow herself to cry.


	2. The man my mother knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why the hell is there a police box in the front garden?” Shireen mumbled and Bill started giggling. All the panic she felt and the anger and the confusion vanished, because between all the fairy tale beauty of that house, stood an old blue police box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still for Cyn

“So,” Paul mumbled and pulled the word out in a way that was both judging and ridiculous. They all stared at the building in front of them.

None of them really knew what to do with the building. It was a small house with only one floor additional to the ground floor, but from what Bill could see the attic was built out to be its own floor. There were brightly colored flower beds and even lusher green fawns and bushed. The whole house looked a bit out of a story, especially with the rich blue paint the walls had and the darker blue colour of the roof. 

“Why the hell is there a police box in the front garden?” Shireen mumbled and Bill started giggling. All the panic she felt and the anger and the confusion vanished, because between all the fairy tale beauty of that house, stood an old blue police box.

It was barely visible from the street, but once you stood in front of the gates it was visible. Tucked between a bush of soft golden orange gladiolas and a high reaching red Brazilian Jasmine was the blue box.

“Ok, I knew they were weird, but this…”

“He won it in a bet with his best friend.”

They all jumped and stared at River, who waved at them from between the Police Box and the Brazilian Jasmine. Bill realized suddenly that there was a swing hanging from one of the branches of the plant.

Happiness flooded her at the sight and Bill realized with a pang of sadness, that she remembered the bright red flowers and the feeling for reaching the sky. She had been here before.

“Wait a bet?” Pavil asked, but Felicity punched him harshly. “How long have you been there?” She asked and all of them turned to River.

She shrugged and stood up. “Long enough to see that you made fun of the old girl!” She said and Bill blinked.

 _The old girl_.

“What do you mean by that?” She asked and before she could check herself she had opened the gate and was halfway across the lawn. Her feed found the stones between the flowers with an ease that frightened her a bit.

River looked at her with soft eyes and something like understanding.

“The old girl. John won her in a bet against his best friend. Missy said he wouldn’t be able to steal the thing from in front of the police station.” River chuckled and shook her head. “She made that claim in public and the police chief just shrugged and told John if he could get it, he could keep it.”

“You have to be kidding me!” Paul mumbled as he got closer. “There is no way he could have gotten that thing away on his own.”

River shrugged again and grinned. “I think he got help from his brothers and cousins, but I’m not sure. I didn’t live here at the time.” She chuckled again.

“In fact I was only like seven at the time and I lived up in Scotland, but it’s a tale nobody forgot here and since nobody managed to move the TARDIS ever since she was placed here. She’s family.”

“That she is, even though my mother nearly decapitated me for putting that thing into her front garden.”

They all jumped when John’s ruff accents sounded from next to them and they turned around to find John leaning inside the door of the police box.

“What… but how?” Felicity asked and blinked in confusion. Bill only looked at the box and let the feeling of familiarity and happiness curse through her.

“It’s bigger on the inside.” She said, before she even knew what she was doing. Her friends looked at her with confusion, but it was John and River that beamed at her. John with the full sparkle in his eyes, Bill had remembered when they first met and his eyebrows drawn together. And River had a smile that under other circumstances would make Bill's knees really wobbly. It kind of still did.

“That it is!” John said and pushed the door. “Come on inside.”

Bill didn’t even hesitate and walked into the police box with a smile. She wasn’t surprised that she found John on the other side, holding a hand out for her with a smile. He was leaning slightly to the side so as to not bump his head against the low ceiling, but he was grinning.

Bill took his hand with a smile just as big as his and walked down the steep steps.

“There’s a fucking staircase in here!” She heard Shireen’s voice and Bill laughed. “Bigger on the inside.” She called and grinned at her friend when she came down the steps into the small room.

“How the bloody hell did you know that?” Her friend asked and Bill just shrugged. She met Heather's eyes over Shireen’s shoulder and Heather smiled brightly at her.

“I just did.”

She didn’t tell them about the feeling of knowing this. Or the happiness she felt when she saw the swing. Bill just wasn’t sure if she was ready to share, because those memories belonged to her.They were proof that Bill had family. Little moments that gave her hope. She remembered this place. The house and the box- _TARDIS-_ she thought and smiled.

She noticed that John was still holding her hand and that his smile had turned wistful. Bill could see tears in his eyes and she gently squeezed his hand.

“This is totally not creepy!” Paul mumbled as he came down the stairs. The room they stood in was a workshop or an office. There was a large desk on one side of the room and behind it a large bookshelf. Bill noticed that Heather’s eyes were fixed on it. There wasn’t a door.

On the other side of the room was a large workbench with an endless amount of tools hanging from the wall.

“This is River’s place. She needed a space to feel home.” John said and there was a disapproving lilt in his voice. When Bill looked up he was looking straight at River who glared back at him, but John’s lips twitched with a smile.

“If you say I’m a grave robber, I swear to every god I know you’ll sleep outside tonight!” She grumbled, but Bill noticed the fondness in her voice.

“I was saying, it’s because you like the earth, but if you say so…” He shrugged and everyone could hear the grin in his voice. River only sighed and shook her head.

“Idiot.”

“Minx”

River turned around and the grin on her face was lethal. “Damsel!” She purred and Bill knew from the faces her friends made that none of them wanted to know why John was turning that shade of red.

“Ok, but how did you get the room so bright?” Felicity asked and River pointed up. “Skylights and a bit of engineering this idiot made.” River pointed at John.

“I’m not a fan of dark spaces.” She mumbled and none of them asked.

They left the room through a door behind the bookshelf! Bill heard her friends mumbled about it and Bill only chuckled. On the other side of the bookshelf was another shelf, but with cleaning materials staked tightly enough that nobody could really see past them. There was a boiler for heating and some cords on the walls just below the ceiling.

 _For the sheets._ She thought and Bill startled a bit at the thought.

“This way.” River said, and walked out of the room. Bill was right behind her. The feeling of home and something warm settled deep inside her.

They turned immediately right and faced a staircase, but Bill saw the other two doors. She didn’t ask, but she burned to know.

On the end of the stairs was another blue door. Just as wooden as the TARDIS door outside. When they entered the house, it was like stepping into another world.

It was meticulously clean, not a thing out of the ordinary, but at the same time it looked liked someone had put several different things into a box and just had shaken it.

Bill gasped as she looked at the other little things all around the open kitchen and living room. There were dozens of plants, little things that made the house look much brighter. There were several large bookshelves, but only half of them were really filled with books. The other half was filled with little nick nacks. There was an ancient looking compass displayed on one shelf. Next to it on a velvet cushion was a pocket watch. And next to that was a little blue book, that looked seconds away from falling apart.

“You don’t see the best part.” River mumbled and held out her hand. Bill hesitated for a moment, because she still only had met River and John yesterday. It only had been a day since she found out that there were people caring so deeply for her they had searched over a year for her. People that only stopped looking when they found a body.

Bill hesitated, because something inside her made her ready to run. As if, the moment she took River's hand she would be running and running and running without a finish line in sight. But Bill wanted that. She wanted to run, she craved for the family she could have. She craved the possibility to meet her mother, even through the story of those two.

So she took the hand River offered her and oneself be tucked into the living room. There was a corner she hadn’t noticed before and when they rounded it, Bill's breath caught.

There from floor to ceiling along the whole wall were pictures. Hundreds and hundreds of pictures. Most of them showed River and John, standing next to each other, grinning. There were a few where the two of them were kissing and some of them fighting.

One glorious shot caught Bill's eye. River bathed in the morning sun looking like her curls were a halo of light. Right next to it was John, sitting on top of the TARDIS the full moon behind him, playing an e-guitar.

There were pictures of other people, a woman with wild hair, much darker than River, hanging from John's shoulder. He looked exasperated, but there was a fondness to it, Bill couldn’t even describe. Pictures of older and younger men. Two redheads and someone that looked almost like Sarah Jane Smith, the famous journalist.

And in-between them all was a picture of a baby. Bill gulped and stepped closer. It was asleep in an old wood crib with stars hanging from somewhere about it. Dark skin and mob of wild curls.

“That was the first time you slept with us, because Mels needed to learn for her finals.” River said softly.

“John got his mum to give up their old crib and then he placed it next to his desk and refused to let you out of his sight.”

“River did so too, curled up on my couch up there with a book about poetry.” John's soft voice held an audible eye roll.

“She didn’t even pretend to read, only looked at the crib.” He chuckled. “Never liked that one.” And then he slipped his arm around River, kissing her on the temple.

“I do love poetry, but only your’s.”Bill smiled at them and tried not to cry.

“Look over there.” He said and pointed at a picture a bit about and to the left of the other one. “The day you were born.” Bill’s head snapped up and she searched almost frantically for the picture in question. There were several pictures. One, a bit bigger than the other of her mum. Her mum in a hospital bed, holding a bloody bundle of blankets, crying, but smiling. Next to it was John holding the same bundle, with a wide smile. His eyes were just as fixed on the baby in his arms as her mums. The next picture was of River, asleep in a hospital chair. Baby Bill half in her lap, half in her arms.

Bill sucked in a sharp breath and the tears spilled down her cheeks.

Heather stepped next to her and pulled her into a one sided hug, Bill only searched for more pictures.

There was on, with her baby-self grinning at the camera. The strange lady that had been with John in the other picture holding an about seven month old Bill, while arguing with John. An older woman with failing redhead holding her, tears in her eyes.

Bill saw herself and her mum again and again in the pictures all over the wall.

“I still have some of the drawings you made. They are in my office upstairs. John said softly. “All of the really important pictures are upstairs. The attic has more space to put the pictures there.” River said softly.

Bill tried her best to blink through the tears.

“How about we sit and talk?”

Bill wasn’t sure who asked, because she had found a picture of her mum, holding a toddler, with a crown on her head. It proclaimed _Happy Birthday_. The thing about that picture was the fact that her mum was grinning and kissing toddler Bill's cheek.

“Common Bill.” Heather said gently and turned her to the side. “I think we still have time later.”

Bill followed, but she still craned her neck to see the pictures.

When they sat down, Bill noticed that all of her friends had taken the places that faced the pictures and Bill felt anger burn inside of her. Those pictures, they showed her mum. They showed the family she once had. Bill wanted to see them. It was more than she ever had before. But the faces of her friends were worried and it took Bill a moment to realize why. Those pictures, they were the past and they couldn’t tell her more than they showed. Those two adults left her on the other hand. Those two adults that looked at Bill like she was the most important person in the universe.

Bill gulped and looked at them, she didn’t know how she looked, but she felt like John and River were mirroring her. Their hands were intertwined and Bill could see that River’s knuckles were white. John's left foot was jumping nervously and neither of them looked away from her.

Bill wasn’t sure if she could talk. If she was able to form words and ask any of the thousand questions in her mind, or if she could stop her questions to let them answer.

So instead Bill turned her head to Heather. Her friend smiled and squeezed her hands a bit. “It’s fine.” Heather mumbled and then turned to John and River.

“Can you tell us about you? Not Bill's mum or Bill, just you?”

They shared a look and Bill saw the way they communicated with only those looks. John’s slight narrowing of his eyebrows. River’s minimal turning of her head. The way John's eyes got soft and how River rolled her eyes. Something deep inside her durned for that kind of connection and Bill wanted it to be with Heather.

“I’m John Smith.” John started only slowly turning her head from Rivers face, to look at Bill. “I was born in Glasgow, in case you didn’t already guess I’m Scottish.” They all snorted and Bill felt a bit lighter.

“I came to Bristol when I was about ten, when my father got a job at the university. My siblings and I grew up here.”

“How many siblings do you have?” Felicity asked. “Three. All boy’s” John said with a wicked grin and River chuckled. “They would protest so badly right now!” She said with amusement dancing in her words. John shrugged with a grin.

“I’ll give it to Jonathan that he grew up nicely and David has my respect for at least trying to be the Scotsman he is, but River…” There was a tone in his voice, that made Bill think John said this all the time. Some kind of amused and exasperated disbelief. “You can not tell me that Benjamin is an adult.”

River made a face that made all of them look away. A kind of knowing smirk and John groaned. “Why do you have to bring this up every time?” He growled and River grinned. “Because I love you getting territorial!”She said and they all shuddered.

Bill blinked at them and when River looked at her she grinned devilish. “The reason why I’m married to John, why I met him in the first place is, because I dated his youngest brother.”

Out of the corner of her eyes Bill saw how Heather's jaw dropped.

“You WHAT?” Paul asked loudly and River shrugged with a grin. “It didn’t work out and we broke up long before anything between me and John started, but yeah I did!” Bill refused to think about it. So she started asking questions.

“What about you River?”

River shrugged, but Bill saw the way she tensed a bit. It wasn't obvious, but Bill had grown up in the system and she had seen this kind of behavior often enough.

“I was born in Scotland, but raised in England. My parents live up in Leathsworth near the Scottish English border.” There was something stiff in her explanation, but Bill couldn’t really find the reason. Just a feeling of stiffness and the way River’s words were short and clipped. What she noticed was how John rolled his eyes.

“She was abducted at birth and raised in a cult!”

Bill blinked. There was a moment of silence and then River slapped John's arm. Hard.

“Why do you do this every time?” She asked and Bill glanced at her friends. They all were staring at the bickering couple with open mouths. Shireen, visibly tensed and Paul had grabbed for his key ring.

“At least don’t jump them with it!” River almost shouted and looked seconds away from slapping John in the face. Instead she growled and threw her hands in the air, before she started to massage her nose.

“I was born too early, so my parents were traveling.” She said softly. “They were somewhere in Sherwood Forest when my mother went into labour. So they didn’t really question the lonely nunnery in the woods.”

They all shuffled a bit and River smiled sadly at them over her hands. “You can guess where this is going.” She sighed. “Mum gave birth and they took me away. They kept my parents there for three day’s and then left. By the time my parents found a police station it was too late.”

John wound his arm around River and Bill had the feeling that he was regretting his decision to say anything.

“I grew up under a woman named Kovarian in her cult. They raised me to be their perfect little pet and I think they needed a scapegoat, because I was also trained to…eliminate people…to say it lightly.” The tension seemed to double and Shireen turned a bit in her seat. River’s eye immediately darted to her and she smiled. “You are trained in martial arts right?”

The way she looked at her friend made Bill relaxed a bit. River looked more like a teacher approving of something a student had said than anything else.

Shireen nodded tensely and Rivers' smile softened even more.

“I noticed yesterday when you moved to protect your friend. It’s a good instinct, keep it up.”

Shireen blushed, but Bill only looked at River. She had turned to John almost hiding her face in his neck.

“John’s brother Benjamin…he is about my age. He found me, because he noticed me in the school yard and how I moved after…mistakes.”

 _Punishments, after Punishments_. Bill thought and tightened her grip on Heather's hands. “Benny brought me home one night and his father noticed the same things.” River stopped and just breathed for a while.

“The cult gave me the name River Song, but they never hid my birth name from me. Well at least the name of my parents.” River’s lips quivered and John snorted. “My mother’s maiden name. It’s the name they go by even though they’ve been married for over forty years.”

The grin the pair shared made Bill blink back tears. So much love and happiness. They were very much in love even after who knew how many years they had been together.

“John’s father managed to get my birth name out of me and then he called the police.” John snorted. “He called the Brigadier.” He grumbled and there was something like longing in his voice.

She wondered who the Brigadier was.

“Busted the whole cult and made a wonder happen.” River shook her head fondly. “They brought me back to my parents and kept in touch. That’s also the reason why Benny and I dated for a while.”

None of them said something for a while. All of the mulling over the things River just had said.

“Who…” Bill started, but her voice cracked and she had to start again. “How did you two get together?”

They shared a look and grinned. “I was twenty and in the middle of my bachelor thesis. John already was teaching at St. Johns. Up to that point we didn’t really have anything to do.”

John snorted. “We basically started a fight every time we met in the hallways!”

He said and River rolled her eyes.

“He called me a grave robber and I told him he wouldn’t be able to keep up for more than five minutes with me. So we made a bet in front of half of the university.” River shrugged.

“Half of the University and our parents were waiting for us to just accept the fact that we wanted each other.” River rolled her eyes again.

“It was my mother.” John finally said with a fond sigh. “She makes one hell of a punch and she brought it to the Christmas party that year…”

There wasn’t much to say anymore and Bill wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. From the glance her friends shared they didn’t want either.

“How did you meet Bill's mum?”

Bill jumped a bit at Paul's question. He had been mostly quiet throughout the time here. When Bill looked at him he was glancing at her and smiled. It was a soft smile, understanding.

John and River shared a look. Long soft and sweet.

“She worked in the cafeteria.” John muttered, shaking his head. “More in her head than most of the dunderheads I thought, but she couldn’t afford the tuition.” John looked at Bill and grinned.

“So she slipped into lectures whenever she could and just listened. What really got her my attention though, was her confusion.”

Bill blinked. “I don’t think I understand!” Bill mumbled, but John only looked at her. His face showed a mix of pain and loss and a softness Bill didn’t understand.

“You do it too.” He said and Bill looked confused at Heather. To her surprise her friend looked back with understanding.

“You smile, when you’re confused.” Heather said softly and John nodded. All around her Bill heard realization in her friend's voices.

“My mum did that too?” Bill asked and River nodded.

“And that sentence she always said.” John groaned, and Rivers leaned closer to him. “Penny in the air.” She said mockingly and without hesitation John answered. “Penny drops.” She kissed his cheek and the scoul vanished as fast as it had appeared.

“She did that?” Bill asked softly and River nodded. “Yeah was her favorite thing to say to drive us mad. My mother loved her for it.”

River looked at John and she shook her finger in his direction like she was about to scold him, but her face was bright with a good memory. “Do you remember the day we introduced her to Missy?” John groaned.

“They almost kicked us out of the Uni for the chaos they made in the chem lab.” John groaned.

River turned to them all with an almost maniac gleam in her eyes. “Ok Kids, listen close, this is one of the best stories I have.”

For the next two hours they just sat listening to the stories River and John could tell them.

Bill learned that her mother hated strawberries and had almost an addition for licorice. She learned that her mom got a master's in physics and engineering.

“She was about to be a professor of engineering when we left before…” John trailed up, but everyone knew what he was talking about. River squeezes his hands and then suddenly brightens. “Oh my…” She got out of John's lap with a surprising amount of grace and was half out of the room, before she turned.

“I just remembered something, I’m back.” Bill blinked at the retreating form of the woman and turned to John to ask the question she had wanted to ask.

“What about my dad?”

River and John both froze.

Riverin the doorframe with her back to them. Bill saw how her fingers shook and that she had to grab onto the frame to keep standing. And then she was gone. She just disappeared between one blink and the next. Without a sound or anything movement. She was just gone.

John on the other hand, seemed to be frozen with a sudden rage. His face was twisted and for the first time Bill realized that those eyebrows could look really aggressive. His face was white with anger and the lines seemed more like dark cracks than the wrinkles originating from laughter. The worst thing was his eyes. Bill had thought his blue eyes were rather open with their affection. Bill could see it in the way he looked at her. The soft smile and the happiness that twinkled in his eyes whenever he looked at her.

But right now they frightened her. John looked more like a warrior than the gentle old man she had seen so far. Heather tightened her grip on Bill's hand so suddenly that Bill squeaked. So far Heather hadn’t let go of her hands, not that Bill was complaining, but the sudden pain surprised her.

John blinked and his head whipped around he looked at her rather owlishly. He seemed surprised about them. Like he had forgotten that she had been here. And then he looked at her friends and looked down.

“He never stayed around…” He mumbled. “Promised your mum the world and the stars and the sun. Promised to marry her, but the moment she told him she was pregnant…” John sighed and shook his head. His accent had gotten thicker and Bill sniffled. She startled when she realized that she was crying.

“It broke her.” John mumbled and when he looked up again his eyes were filled with tears too.

“She just showed up one night at our doorstep, with the most important things. Crying and unable to talk.”

John shrugged and rubbed his eyes. “I never got the change to do anything…” Bill blinked against the tears, because she understood the implication.

“I’m really happy you didn’t.” River’s soft voice startled them all. She stood in the doorway a large carton in her hands. “I don’t think I would have survived the Library if you were in prison.” She said and John jumped a bit. His smile was soft, but looked pained. “We don’t talk about that.” He grumbled and reached out.

Bill realized that it was a silent plea for River to come closer. She came closer and she did grab his hand, but she didn’t sat down next to him again. Instead she sat down on the carpet between the sofas and opened the box.

“Are those…” John asked as he slipped down to the floor too and Bill followed, skirting over the rug to get closer to them.

The only thing Bill could see in the box was a piece of fabric, but it was right below the edge of the box. So it probably was one of many things. River looked up at Bill as she lifted the thing out of the box. “Your mum’s.” River said and Bill realized it was a scarf. “She got it the day she became a Professor.” 

Her hands trembled, when she reached out to grab the fabric from River. It was soft light blue and darker red fabric with golden threads throughout the fabric.

“She was so proud.” River chuckled. “Called us that day and showed it to us. We had planned to be there the day she got her diploma. It was a Friday and our work in the library had been procession faster than we anticipated so…” River shrugged, but didn’t look at Bill again.

Instead she lifted another piece of fabric.

“Oh…” She said softly and unfolded the mess of a jumper.

John barked and laughed and pulled River closer to him.

“I remember that one, My mother made it for Mels.” He chuckled brightly. “I think David and Johnathan both tried their best to discourage her, but…” “Your mother.”River said and he nodded and giggled again.

The jumper was badly knitted with a lot of mistakes, but Bill could see the love put into it. It was the same blue of the police box with an earthy red for the left arm. “I love it” She whispered and reached out for it.

River let go of it the moment Bill was holding it. It smelled old and dusty, but there was a note of Nutmeg and chili that Bill barely could make out.

“She cried, when she got it.” John said softly. “Never knew her parents. She was raised by the family of her friend. They were good people, but they had a bad falling out, when Mels was eighteen. That’s how your mum ended up in the cafeteria.” John said and reached out to brush over the red sleeve.

“And she never got the chance to make up with them. There was a freak accident with the plane they were in. Mels never saw them again.”

Bill gulped and closed her eyes. She hid her face in the jumper for a moment, trying hard to not feel at all. It seemed that tragedies run in the family.

“Idris adored Mels.” River said quietly. “Much more than Clara at least.” Bill picked over the jump to look at River.

“Who’s Clara?” John and River shared a look. “She used to be Benjamin's girlfriend.” John chuckled. “And Missy’s, none of us have seen her in years.”

“God that boy has bad luck.” Paul muttered and River nodded at him.

“He has. Benny has a heart of gold, but he’s really bad at…blending in…” River screwed up her face. As if saying the words let a bad last in her mouth. “I love him. I really do and I loved the way he gets excited over small things the most, but it never worked out between us, because he was so stubborn.”

Shireen snorted. “So you married the Scotsman?”

River nodded. “At least John is willing to talk about his feelings!” Heather hissed behind Bill. “Burn.” She muttered and they all shared a sly grin.

Bill, while interested in the stories about people, that could be her family looked into the box with much more interest and River seemed to pick that up, because she reached out and got the next thing out.

It was a velvet box, too big for a ring, but not excessively large either. John turned his head away.

“When John finally calmed down, after finding out, your dad just left. He made this.”

Bill blinked, but understood what River was talking about. John had said something yesterday at the school, so when opened the box to show her the medallion Bill already knew what she would see.

It was almost identical to the necklace around Bill's neck, with a few small differences in the circles on the front.

“What do the circles mean?” Bill asked and gently touched the gold, without taking the box. Instead she took off her own necklace and held it out to John.

“I spent my whole childhood looking at the thing. But those circles never made sense to me.” John took the necklace and smiled softly.

“It’s an ancient language that almost nobody knows any longer. It originated in the Library of Alexandria.” River leaned against John's side and looked at the necklace too.

“We bonded over that language, because he helped me figure it out. Something about the stars and a system.” The way River said it, made it perfectly clear that she knew exactly what John had been talking about. “It’s called Circular Gallifreyan. Some call it the language of time. But for us it was the family language.”

“So what does the inscription on Bill's necklace mean?” Heather asked.

“ _Family is not blood, but trust and happiness_.” John said quietly. “It’s something my mother always said. Mel's necklace held the first part of the quote. _Because time is endless and unruly_.”

River turned her head and pressed her lips to John's cheek and for a moment they disappeared behind River’s hair.

Bill looked at them, the way they leaned against each other and the simple love they had. Trust and happiness. The little inside jokes.

She burned for this. She burned to have that kind of trust with someone. To have a family that made her smile with a look and that knew when to help her hide her emotions. She wanted John to be the embarrassing dad and River the badass mum. She wanted it so badly, her eyes stung with tears.

Heather hugged her softly and Bill realized that she did have it in a way, with her friends. Because they had turned into a wall to protect her the moment she felt uncomfortable. They hadn’t hesitated to demand answers when River and John had just shown up. They had come here with her and they asked the questions Bill couldn’t. She looked at her friends and smiled at them with gratitude.

They smiled back and Bill felt a bit less alone.

“Sorry.” John rumbled and Bill turned back to him. He had pulled River back into his lap and had rested his head onto her curls. Even though the pose looked incredibly uncomfortable, they also looked happy and content.

“It’s just. Ever since the fire…” He stopped and Bill knew exactly what he meant. Ever since they brought home the body of a burned child.

“We didn’t think much about you or Mels. On anniversaries, sure, but most of the time we did our best to ignore it. So seeing those things again. It’s the same for us as for you in a way.”

And then on a wimp Bill leaned forwards and wrapped her arms around both of them. It felt nice, but was bad at the same time, because she leaned half on the box and half on River. But neither John or River cared. River let out a single sob and almost dragged Bill closer. John chuckled, but it sounded weak and a bit broken. He wrapped his arms around both River and Bill and she heard him mumble something into their hair.

 _“My girls_ ”

And Bill suddenly understood why it was on the backside of the necklace. It was about family and never ending love. She burst into tears and maybe she wasn’t alone.

***

They ate something once the hug ended. John cooked up an amazing meal with pasta from the scratch. River on the other hand went through the box.

There was a stag of DVD’s in there, that made River’s eyes glint with mischief, but that she set aside. “We look at them later in Johns office.”

There were some books. A diary with a lock and a key. River gave it to Bill without a word and Bill clung to it like a lifeline. There were other things. A bracelet and a few paintings that Bill realized were from her.

But nothing that made her feel like the jumper, the scarf or the diary.

“Hey Bill.” River said and stood her hand held out for Bill to take. All of their attention turned to River. Even John who was watching the pasta turned half around.

“I’d like to show you something.” River said and looked at John. He seemed to understand and turned back to the pot without saying a word.

Bill hesitated for a moment, but took the hand in the end.

River pulled her out of her seat at the kitchen table. “Don’t worry.” She said with a wink to her friends. “You will see her again in a moment.”

And then she pulled Bill out of the room and up the stairs. There were other pictures. River in front of several runs all over the world.

And River in white dresses. Again and again.

“We married over and over again in different countries.” River said with a smile when she noticed Bill's interest. “John is an idiot, but he’s romantic and knows how to propose.

“And he knows how to make a honeymoon.” Bill hopped desperately that the last comment was low, because River didn’t want her to hear it. But she didn’t get to think about it too much, because they stopped on the landing of the first floor and then River pulled her away from the stairs and down the hall. The house was surprisingly big and Bill wondered how it looked so small on the outside.

“Here.” River said and stopped before a door. It was painted bright yellow and there were swords and sun flowers painted onto it.

It was the only door that was painted, but Bill was frozen before it. She had the feeling of knowing this room. She had the feeling that she knew what was behind it. A picture of the night sky popped up in her mind and before she could think about it. sHe grabbed the door knob and opened it.

It was a bright yellow room, but the colour was a bit faded.The furniture looked old and was made for a small child. A little bed, a bookshelf filled with children’s books and pictures of cartoon characters on the wall. The thing that took Bill's breath was the ceiling. It was painted dark blue, almost black and there were galaxies and nebulas and stars all over it.

“It’s your room.” River said and sat down on the bed. Her eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“John and Mels did this. They spent hours here painting the ceiling. It was when Mels first moved in with us. They brought home star charts and pictures of galaxies and spent day’s painting.”

River shook her head and there were tears in her eyes. Bill felt like her knees would give in every moment now.

“When Mels was pregnant, she moved back in here and it was your room. Your’s and Mels. You wouldn’t sleep anywhere but here. At least not at night.” River turned from the ceiling to Bill and there were tears rolling over her cheeks.

“John was so damn pleased about it. Called you a future star traveller and basically already thought about how to get you to study physics.” River shook her head and whipped away some tears. “Mels let him. I think she liked the idea too.”

And then a sob escaped River. “When we found out what had happened to Melody…when we couldn’t find you…this room.” River took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes.

“John trashed the room. He broke the bed that was In here before. Nearly destroyed the crib and broke a bookshelf. I couldn’t even set a foot in here. Five years Bill. Mels was gone for five years and we didn’t even know.”

Bill slowly pushed herself from the door frame she had fallen against. She wasn’t sure if she could walk, but she knew that she needed to be close to River right now.

“When we finally thought we found you…” River said and Bill sat down on the floor next to her. She laid her head onto River’s legs and closed her eyes.

“When we got the address of the Foster home in Manchester…” Her voice broke and Bill suddenly felt fingers in her hair, softly brushing through it.

“We decided to wait until the next day to get you. Because it was late. Already eight and…we…we thought it would be better to wait until morning instead of showing up in the middle of the night, but…”

Bill curled her hand’s into the fabric of River’s skirt. “We had just replaced all the furniture and John had repainted parts of the ceiling. Just to be sure it would look like you remembered. But when we drove up to the house…it was gone. Just ruins and smoke and there were still flames in some parts.”

River didn’t say a word for a long moment and all Bill could hear was the sharp breathing and the nearly silent sobs.

“There was a police woman. Her name is Yasmine. She stopped us and wanted to know who we are.” River finally said and Bill felt the shaking of her hands in her hair. She still sat there on the ground, with her head on Rivers lap.

“I still remember her face, when we gave her your name.” River whispered. “So much horror and then the pity and…” River stopped again and bowed down. She curled her hands around Bill and hugged her.

“It was horrible for me, because you were my granddaughter. You were everything that was left of my child. My Melody. The child I thought I’d never had.”

River sounded broken. She sounded like a woman, who had lost everything and still forced herself up everyday. That refused to give up no matter how cruel the world was. Bill Bill saw through it. All she heard was the heartbreak. The pain and the shattered hope. Bill understood.

So instead of saying anything she grabbed Rivers shaking fingers and held them tightly in hers.

“They said I’d never have children. Everyone said that, but then there was Mels and then I had you and…then you were gone. It hurt me so much. I didn’t talk for days. Not even my dad could bring me to talk. I hurt so badly, but John…”

River stopped and Bill felt a kiss pressed to the crown of her head. River sat up and then slipped from the bed and sat down next to Bill. She curled her arms around Bill and put her head onto Bills. Pulling her half into her lap, like she still was only a little girl.

“John was broken. He already had lost a daughter. Years before. Susan. He was so young back then. Only nineteen, but he loved her and her mother. They weren’t married, but they loved each other and they loved Susan.”

Rivers' voice was a hushed whisper and Bill curled into her frame, as if it could protect her.

“Susan died when she was three, because of a misdiagnosis. It broke John and it broke her mother.It broke them apart no matter how much they loved each other. So losing Meals and loosing you…”

River stopped and Bill felt her nails digging painfully into her flesh. But she didn’t say a word instead she closed her eyes and hugged River back with all the strength she could muster. Bill needed River to know that she was here. That she was safe. That everything was alright.

“That was the only time I thought our marriage would end. Not even in my recovery period after the library, did I…I thought I lost him.”

River whispered and kissed Bill's head.

“He wouldn’t look at me or talk to me. We spent two months in this house, not talking. We couldn’t even stay in the same room together, because we would look at each other and all we could think was that we lost you.”

Bill sobbed. River shushed her and started to rock her.

“It was his mum that saved us. She sat us down and told us that we had to leave. That we had to travel and get away from here. The first two years were hard, but we made it. We married again under the singing towers in Peru and after that we got back to our feet.” River huffed and Bill heard the weak laugh she let out.

“And then I saw you and I nearly fainted.” This time her laugh sounded breathless and strained.

“I spent two day’s terrorizing government officials and then two days more until I found out that two children survived the fire and stayed in the woods for two day’s. That an old lady found and helped them.” River kissed Bill's forehead.

“I nearly killed those people and I think John would have let me. They put you back into the system instead of contacting us. They knew we were your legal guardians, but instead of contacting us. They shrugged and let you by that lady."

River was shaking and Bill realized it was with anger. “Our family still doesn’t know your alife. And I can’t wait to tell them, but…”

River pulled Bill a bit away and looked at her.

“I want you to know that…no matter what happened. If we had the chance we would have taken you. We would have fought every single person in the world to bring you home and. No matter what you decide, this room,”

She nodded to the side. “It’s yours and it’s waiting for you. We can change it. Aside from the ceiling everything is fair game, but…”

“I love it.” Bill said and pulled River back into her arms.

“I love this house and I remember parts of it and I know it’s too soon and we need more time. But I can imagine moving in with you.”

River sobbed again and pulled Bill closer and then there was another pair of arms around Bill. Hugging her from behind and pressing a soft kiss to her head.

“We waited fourteen years to see you again.” John muttered. “We can wait a few more months.”

In a way this turned her world upside down and Bill smiled and turned and wrapped an arm around John too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in talking to me: riversmithmelody on Tumblr


	3. The Godfather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bill!” River called out and Bill smiled and ran down the stairs. She threw herself into their arms and hugged them tightly.  
> “I love you guys.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I din't plan that this chapter would be 10k…  
> So that's why I din'f post this yesterday like planed…ups!  
> But I love this chapter, even if it has scenes in it I didn't plane for. What can I say…

Bill tried her best to keep her breathing even. She was sitting outside of the principal's office with Paul and Shireen. Pavel would be joining them one Felicity was done with her interview. 

It was Friday and somehow Bill had completely forgotten about the fact that the dreaded press day was still coming for them. She had no idea what she would be talking about and to be honest right now she could imagine just sitting down and not saying a word. Miss Lem probably would laugh her ass off and give an A anyways.

“Hey Bill. Paul leaned closer and reached over Shireen’s lap to clasp her hand. “You’re alright?” Bill nodded and smiled weakly. “Didn’t get much sleep.” She muttered nada Paul nodded.

She hadn’t slept well last night…scratch that she hadn’t slept at all. Not because of press day, but…because of River and John and her mum in a way.

It wasn’t bad. No, thinking of them made her smile brightly. 

***

They had driven her and her friends home on Tuesday, stating that they wouldn’t risk them. Bill had thought she knew what they really meant. They couldn’t bear the thought of risking her. So they had driven them home. 

Bill had wanted to introduce them to Moira, but River only had kissed her forehead and shook her head.

“Tomorrow Bill, alright?” She had nodded and left the car, with a smile. The diary of her mum and the scarf and the jumper in her arms. 

Moira had been furious. Because Bill hadn’t texted or called or told her where she was. And Bill had thought she would be grounded, but instead she had just hugged Moira and explained in a rush of voices what had happened. 

Which honestly had ended in the worst way possible. Moira had almost exploded in her face, telling Bill off for just walking into the house of strangers. For not telling her that there was family waiting for Bill. She hadn’t understood in the beginning, but after a moment Bill had understood that Moira was worried. Because Moira was brilliant. Not alway understanding, but she cared. 

Moira had been taking in foster children for years. She never was able to have children, so took care of those who couldn’t have a family. Bill remembered former foster children visiting Moira and telling Bill that she would be safe here. 

For a ten years old Bill, who just had found her last foster mum dead in her bed, this was so much more reassuring than anything the social workers could have said. Moira had lived up to it and still was doing so.

So one Bill had calmed Moira down and showed her the things River and John had given to her and the picture of her mum and the two, Moira wanted to meet them. Bill had seen the fierce set of Moira’s jaw many time, mostly when she had done something stupid. Right now it was to protect one of hers Moira was lioness and she would do everything to keep her pack safe.

Bill had only nodded and told her that River and John wanted to meet her too.

Bill had gone to bed with a smile and happiness creating Butterflies in her gut.

That was until the next morning, Moira remembered Bill would be working. It honestly had ruined Bill's mood a bit. Not much, but a bit. 

So after school instead of walking back home and waiting for both parts of her family to meet, Bill walked to the cafe and started working. 

“Tea and biscuits, please.” A voice said and Bill blinked at River and John sitting on table 24.

“Wha…” River grinned at her and John only rolled his eyes. “We told you we will see you today, and if we can’t meet your foster mum, then we can at least help you earn some money.”

John grumbled something, but River only smiled brighter and the lines between John's eyebrows melted into a soft grin. “Same for me, please.”

Bill had taken the order with a bright smile and urged Ashildr to do it extra fast, but by the time she returned with the tray all hell had broken loose. 

River stood over the counter glaring at Mr Graystark, with John very deliberately not looking in the same direction, while talking to a lady. The lady was one of the people coming here often enough to be considered a regular. She was the niece of Mr. Delaware III, if Bill saw it right.

“Ok what is happening?” She asked carefully and turned to River, who was still glaring at Mr Graystark.

“Tell me Bill how exactly is this gentlemen paying you?” Bill just blinks. Blinks again and then puts her tray aside. “Why?”

“Because dear Ms Delaware over told us that we shouldn’t tip you, because the money goes to the owner of the cafe.”

Bill frowned. “And?” She asked very carefully, pulling the “A” a bit. River turns her head to Bill. She looks like she wants to scream.

“Bill, tips are for the waiters.” Bill just blinks. “I don’t see the pro…” She see’s John stepping up to them and turns to look at him for help, but his face is closed off.

“What do you get paid, Bill?” River asks again and Bill see’s Mr. Graystark shake his head behind her back. John narrows his eyes. Caged in between this shit show and knowing that River is much more dangerous that she looks, which is really scary thinking about it. Bill decides to just answer the question.

Several people around her gasped when they heard her answer. The cafe had gone really quiet when the confrontation started and most of the customers glare at Mr. Graystark, like they wanted to slap him. Bill is pretty sure that the only reason why River doesn’t slap him is the fact that John had placed a hand on her shoulder. 

Bill wants to say something, because Mr Graystark is nice, just not the best businessman and a bit forgetful and…, but she doesn’t, because Kitty comes out of the kitchen.

Her friend stops cold and then she gets really pale when she sees John. Kitty let’s out a squeak and turns back around, but John is fast.

“Kitty.” He says softly and Bill feels like someone is turning her world upside-down  _ again _ . Because Kitty, brave, loud and blunt Kitty looks so sheepish, that she almost looks like someone completely different.

“Yes, Doctor?” She asks and Bill frowns, how does Kitty know John and why does she call him Doctor?

“What do you get paid?” He asks bluntly and Kitty blinks. Bill almost giggles, because she’s pretty sure that she looked exactly like Kitty.

“Why?” Kitty asks cautiously and pulls the word like Bill had done. John sighs. “Because if you get paid like Bill then I’m letting River slap him.” 

He says and Kitty looks away from him for the first time. Bill is surprised when Kitty gets even paler and her eyes almost bug out of their sockets, when she sees River. 

…who almost pulls Mr. Graystark over the counter. 

“What the fuck?!” Kitty whispers and Bill wants to agree. 

“Miss Thames.” John inquires softly and Kitty’s eyes dart back to him. “I do,” She said and then quickly goes on. “Get paid like Bill. We all are.” Bill heard River growling and Mr. Graystark yelping, but before she can do anything, the kitchen explodes.

It’s more an instinct than anything else, that Bill lurched forwards, together with Kitty and ran into the kitchen.

Ashildr is cursing up a storm over a smoking mixer and Bill silently thinks that it’s a blessing the thing is finally dead. Most of the kitchen appliances are technically too old to be used any longer, but Mr. Graystark can’t pay for new ones, so Ashildr does her best. 

“What happened?” Bill asks, but Ashildr waves her off. “Nothing, I just overestimated the old thing.”

“Why the FUCK, are the Doctor and Professor Song about to ripp Graystark apart?” Kitty asks, shrill and half panicked and Ashilda freezes just like Kitty had done a few minutes earlier. 

“The Doctor?” Ashildr asked and looked around the kitchen, like she’s looking for a binding place. “Shit, shit, SHIT.” She muttered and Bill just stands there, looking at her colleagues and friends, who run around like headless chickens.

“What exactly is your problem?” She asks after a moment of horrified fascination. Both of them stop cold. “It’s the Doctor!”Ashildr whispered. Kitty almost shouts. “Have you met Professor Song?”

Bill had indeed met both of them and she really didn’t get it.

“We can be happy, that the cafe is still standing, with both of them in here.” Kitty mutters and Ashildr puts her elbows on a countertop and then puts her head in her hands. “Oh fuck, the last encounter between those two almost started a fucking food war in the cafeteria.”

_ This is River’s place. She needed a space to feel home.  _

_ If you say I’m a grave robber, I swear to every god I know, you’ll sleep outside tonight! _

Something slits in place in Bill's mind and she realizes what Kitty and Ashildr were talking about.

_ We basically started a fight every time we met in the hallways! _

_ He called me a grave robber and I told him he wouldn’t be able to keep up for more than five minutes with me. _

“Oh my god.” Bill whispers and slaps a hand over her mouth to keep herself from resolving into laughter. “You don’t know!” 

That stops them both. Ashildr is still pale beyond healthy. Kitty is still wringing her hands, but they look at Bill like she’s mad and, before Bill can stop herself, she wheezes another countertop, trying very hard to keep on her feet.

“What the fuck Bill?” Ashlidr asks and Bill resolves into giggles again.

“BILL I swear to god, start talking!” Kitty hissed and for once she actually resembled her nickname. 

“Theyremarried” Bill gasped between giggles, but none of her friends seemed to understand. “What?” Ashildr asked and pulled closer. Kitty on the other hand just stood there blinking. Bill kept breathing and ignored them both, so to get herself back under control.

“They are married.” Bill said again, clearly, but judging by the looks they give her, she doesn’t think they understand.

“Uh?” Ashildr finally mumbles. Bill almost starts giggling again. “They are married.” She repeated. “No fucking way!” Kissy mumbled and Ashildr nodded. “Have you ever met those two? They are permanently fighting and they can’t even be in a room alone, without one of them starting to screa…” 

Bill waited and watched as Ashildr stopped talking, and went pale again. “I touched her desk.” She finally whispered and even Bill shuttered at the idea. 

“You are telling me the Doctor and Professor Song are married? For how long?” Kitty asked and Bill thinks she will faint every moment now. Bill shrug’s. 

“At least twenty years, if not more.” She says and leans back against the washing machine. 

“Wait…” Kitty was glaring at Bill, her eyes narrowed. “How do you know that? I’ve been taking history lessons by Professor Song for the last two years and I haven’t had a clue.” Bill shrugs again and tries her best to look innocent.

“It isn’t that hard to miss?” It sounds more like a question and she winces internally. Ashildr too narrows her eyes at her.

“Spill it Bill or I’ll make you!” She grumbles and Bill backs away from the cook, when she picks up the hand mixer. 

“No need to threaten me!” She squeaks, but Kitty is left to her in a moment and suddenly Bill, the raging lesbian, is trapped between two very dangerous, and very beautifully woman. Fuck her knee’s disappeared.

“Their my grandparents” She squeaks and Ashildr stoops. Kitty freezes and then they look at each other.

“Bill,” They start and she knows where this is going, before they even open their mouths. “They adopted my mum, when she was in Uni, about twenty years back. Ok?” 

It’s once more Ashildr that gapes and goes pale and really Bill starts to worry. 

“You’re Mina!” She gasps and Bill just blinks at her. Kitty on the other hand looks like she understands. “NO WAY!” 

“Mina?” She asks, but none of them seem to hear her. 

“FUCK, Kitty. Wilhelmina Potts, how didn’t we notice?” Kitty nods frantically and Bill feels this itch in her gut. They know something. Something about her. Something about her mum and they aren’t telling her about it. 

“WHAT.” She bellows and both of them jump. “Are you talking about?” She demands and they look at her with wide eyes.

“Wilhelmina Pott, the daughter of Melody Potts, one of the most promising engineers the uni had seen in years. Melody was known for her clever mind, she excelled in computer, electrical and mechanical engineering. A protégée that had more job offers at twenty than most people in their whole live.”

Ashildr takes a deep breath and Bill blinks. She knew that her mum was good at the things she did, after all she was going to be a professor. But this? Three different kinds of engineering? A protégée? Neither John or River had said something about this.

“They say she wanted to go into astronautical engineering.” Ashildr said and Bill snapped back to focus on her friend. 

“Her daughter, Wilhelmina, basically grew up on campus.” Kitty said softly. “At least that’s what the Professors and the staff say when you ask them. The two years Melody had with her daughter, she was permanently on campus and every Professor got a chance to have her in their lectures if they wanted to. She was like a University mascot.”

Bill felt a strange mix of delight and nervousness at those words. “Ok…” She whispered. 

“There are pictures.” Ashildr said, more gently. “In the physics building mostly, for some reason. But in other places too.” 

Kitty nodded. “I mean it makes sense. They always said she was really close with the Doctor, but I never imagined…” 

Ashildr snorted. “Well the chemistry building has some clear warnings, that the moment Melissa Z. Masters and Melody Potts enter the building everyone has to leave.” Bill snorted. John had mentioned that story, and she really needed to know more about it.

“So you’re Mina.” Kitty finally said and Bill nodded slowly. “I never heard that nickname.” She muttered.

“Vastra gave it to you.” Kitty and Ashildr jumped, but Bill smiled and turned to see John in the doorway. “She refused to call you Bill, so she named you Mina and Jenny liked the name. Say you would be a really good Vampire hunter.” His eyes twinkled and Bill relaxed. 

“Who are Vastra and Jenny?” She asked and John only raised an eyebrow, at her friends. 

“Madame Vastra Siluria and Professor Jenny Flint. They are Professors at the Uni.” Ashildr said slowly, her eyes never leaving John.

“Madame Vastra teaches martial arts, mostly with a focus on weapons and Professor Flint is a Professor for Victorian literature.” Kitty finished.

Neither of them looked like they wanted to be around John. “Kitty Thames and Miss Ashildr Mire. I’m really surprised that the two of you would accept such fucked up contracts.” John said slowly and Bill had the feeling, he had a problem with Ashildr. 

“What do you mean?” Kitty hissed and John grinned. He looked like he was enjoying himself. Like he enjoyed the fierce gleam in Kitty’s eyes. 

“I mean, that your boss is not paying you enough, but keeps all the tips for himself.” Kitty stiffened. “Did you know that he owns yachts?” John asked sweetly and Bill felt like someone had slapped her. 

“EXCUSE ME?” She asked and John nodded. “Exactly. River is calling the police right now. What he did was criminal.” John locks eyes with Bill and she sees the balled down anger in his eyes. “Especially, because you’re a minor.” 

***

The day had gone to shit after that. Moira had been called in, because apparently Mr. Graystark had changed the conditions on Bill's contract after she had sighed, without informing her. So she had been severely underpaid and overworked. Somehow the nice, but forgetful old man had turned out to be a scamming asshole, that owned Bill enough money to fund her about half a year of University. 

The nice thing about it was that Moira had met and approved of John and River and they had been invited for Thursday to visit. It kind of balanced that fact that Bill had lost her job.

***

Thursday was better and strange. Moira was excessively cleaning the house and Bill was helping, because those were her grandparents coming over. What Bill refused to do was cooking. She knew that John would bring something, because River had texted and warned her. Still it was hard to keep Moira in place.

When they finally arrived, River was holding the box with the things that belonged to Bill's mum and John was balancing several pots on his arm. Moira immediately went to help him while Bill stayed back with River and watched them go.

“Why do I have the feeling that I will regret this?” She asked River softly and River smiled. “Because it’s John.”

River was right, for some reason John managed to charm Moira of her socks and Bill was half disgusted and half fascinated with it. River was chuckling and leaning against John, like a cat that wanted to be petted. Bill got the impression River was making a point. 

By the time they started dinner, Bill was listening to John and River explaining their story to Moira, who had gone rather pale. 

“Melody Potts?” She asked and Bill blinked at her foster mum. She hadn’t seen Moira this shaken since the day that Nicole, a former foster child of Moira’s had visited them to tell them that she was making Moira the godmother of her first child. 

“Did she have ties to a Zucker family?” River straightened and John narrowed his eyes. “Yes…?” He answered softly and Moira nodded. “I knew Augustus Zucker. He and I met at several schoolings that we made to take care of foster children.”

This was getting ridiculous. Bill blinked at Moira for a moment. “You are joking right?” Bill breathed, but Moira shook her head. 

“No, It was when I lived near London. He and I met like three times, but he wouldn’t shut up about his two daughters. One of them he was fostering and planning to adopt. He said her name a few times, but I never really made a connection.” Moira laughed. “Really, the fact that I remembered this and it’s the same Melody…” Moira shook her head again and brushed Bill's cheek. 

“That box,” Moira finally said, “It’s for you right?” Bill knew that Moira was asking her to let them talk alone, so she smiled and nodded. “Can you bring it to your room?” Bill nodded again, took the box and left the kitchen.

She still could hear them talking, but it was quite enough, that she couldn’t make out the words. So she settled for looking through the box again.

There were fewer DVDs in the, but the rest was the same. Except for a bright yellow bow. 

Bill took the bright yellow ribbon and just let it slip through her fingers. It was a soft and slippery material and Bill could tell that the material was old, but it seemed to be in a perfect quality. The thing that surprised her most was the bright colour. 

“You’re mum got it from one of my cousins, when she became part of the family.” Bill looked up to see John leaning in the doorway. “Was her favourite.” John smiled at her and sat down on her bed. “River put it in a jewelry box down in her workshop, so it would stay like this.” He muttered and stretched a hand out for the ribbon. Bill let him take it.

“She loved the thing and Jane wouldn’t shut up about it.” John chuckled and Bill frowned. “Jane?” 

“My cousin. She’s the youngest of our cousins, she lives somewhere in the north. Nobody dares to ask.” 

Bill decided that she really didn’t want to know. 

“We looked through the videos yesterday.” He said and pulled the DVD’s out of the box. “It’s only a few of them, but they were our favorite moments and we thought, maybe you want to see them too.”

Bill opened her mouth as if to say something, but she didn’t really get a word out. “It's a happy memory. I promise.” John chuckled. “I mean I cried through most of them and nearly killed River after seeing one, but …in a loving way.” 

And Bill believed him. “You really should watch them.” He said and held the stack of DVDs out to Bill. She took them and placed them on her laptop, but hesitated. “I have school tomorrow, and Moira…” John winked at Bill. “Moira will let you watch them, if you don’t complain tomorrow.” 

Bill looked at John with wide eyes, then at the DVD’s in her hand and then back to John.

“You’re welcome.” He said with a grin. Bill grinned back and put the DVD’s onto her bed, so she could get her Laptop.

She stopped just before opening it. “Hey John?” She had been thinking about this since yesterday. “Why did Kitty call you  _ The Doctor?”  _ John blinked and then shuffled on the bed until he faced her.

“I have about 15 degrees.” He said. “So some of my students started to call me the Doctor.”

“That's also, because all of your brothers are professors. And every time all of you are in the city, or worse the uni, people get confused.” Bill jumped a bit and turned to River who was leaning in the doorway. 

“All of them?” Bill asked a bit dumbfounded. River nodded. “Johnathan has a degree in astrophysics, but in the last years he only taught philosophy. David has an astronomy degree, but he’s been teaching English in Scandinavia for the last three years. And then there’s Benny.” River said with a grin. John sighed.

“He teaches history.” 

“And still he takes offense in me being an archeologist.” River said and there was so much drama in her voice, that Bill’s lips twitched.

“Because Archeologists are no-good grave robbers.” John muttered and River sat down in his lap. She turned her head so she and John were basically nose to nose. Bill had the feeling there was more said than she heard.

“Say’s the man with the archeology degree.” 

John blushed and Bill took a double take, because John…John Smith blushed. “That was a bet.” He grumbled and River hummed with amusement. “Mhm, a bet.” 

Bill didn’t even want to ask.

“Please don’t do this in my bedroom.” She whispered and both of them looked up. River grinned wickedly, while John got a bit redder. 

“Well, if you wish.” River said and stood up. “We have to go, by the way.” Bill froze.

“What why, you only…” River put her hand onto Bill's shoulder, before she could say anymore. “I have a class in half an hour and John in an hour, darling. We have to go.” 

That kind of took all the wind out of Bill. 

“Oh, well…” River hugged her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “We talked to Moira and she allowed you to stay with us over the weekend, if you like.” 

Bill immediately perked up. “Really?” She asked and both of them nodded. “Yep, we can pick you up after school if you like, but that would mean you have to sit in our uni classes for a while. We could show you around.” River said and John rolled his eyes.

“Or…” He said and helped out with a necklace with a key on it. “You can go inside on your own.” Bill looked at the key and then at the two adults next to her.

“Wait really?” River rolled her eyes, but nodded. “It’s for both the Tardis door.” River said and her lips were twitching.

“It means you’re officially family.” Bill just looked at the key in confusion. “Why does a key make me family.” River’s lips twitched more, while John rolled his eyes.

“We don’t give out Tardis keys to anyone.” He said and sounded rather serious. Bill blinked and looked at River.

“It’s literally what he said. Most people know we have a key hidden in one of our plant, but nobody gets inside the Tardis without the key. And there are only…River blinked and stopped for a moment counting. 

“Eight Tardis keys. For me and John. His parents, my parents, Johnathan, Rose and this one.” She nodded at the key Bill was holding. 

“Johnathan is your brother right?” Bill asked and John nodded. “Who’s Rose?” 

“David’s wife. She’s the only one who can keep the key from their daughter and Jane.” 

“This one belonged to Melody. She kept it in her flat, so…” 

_ It didn’t get lost when she died. _ The words hung low in the air and Bill just smiled pressing the key to her chest.

***

Twenty minutes later John and River were gone and Moira sent Bill to her room, so she could watch the DVD’s they had left. 

Bill hesitated for a moment before she put the first DVD in, but in the end her curiosity of seeing her mother was too big.

The first scene playing started shaky and then zoomed in on a sceptic looking John. Bill could see the difference between this John and her John. The lines on his face looked softer and his eyebrows were darker, but his hair was still the same salt and pepper madness Bill knew. John was frowning into the camera. 

“Is this working?” He asked and Bill snorted, when he moved closer to the camera. “Don’t go that close, old man, won’t look flattering.” A young voice Bill couldn’t place said and then she heard River laughing. 

“Oh shut up Mels.” John grumbled and turned the camera. River and a young black woman were setting a table with grins on their faces.

Bill realized a moment too late that this was her mum. She looked so young. Almost like Bill. Her hair was a wild mess, untamed onto her head and there was a blue bow in her hair. 

“May I introduce.” John said with a flourish and River actually started giggling. 

“Melody Potts, the newest member of our mismatched family.” Bill noticed how her mum stopped for a moment. How she froze and then how her hands shook and Bill knew exactly what she was thinking. Family. She had a family, someone who wanted her.

“How about you tell us what we are doing?” River said from somewhere off camera. Bill hadn’t even noticed that River had left. Mels immediately brightened. 

“I got accepted as John's personal student today, even though the administration wanted nothing more than to kick me out.” 

Her mum sounded so proud and Bill couldn’t do anything but to lean closer to the screen and soak in every bit of information she could get.

The next scene was of John's attic office, with him pacing between his desk and the window and her mum on the couch playing listless with a yoyo.

“That just doesn't make sense. That whole theory is just stupid and even if you turn the variables…” Her mum said and Bill noticed who John froze.

“Turn the…MELS you’re a genius.” 

John crossed the room in two large steps and Bill laughed when her mum squealed loudly as he pulled her out of his chair. “If we turn it backwards and go from the…”

The camera turned and Bill looked at a softly smiling River. “These idiots have been moping about this for the last two day’s. If they wouldn’t have figured it out by dinner, I would have called Missy.”

Bill had no idea who Missy was, but she had the feeling it wasn’t a good thing.

For the next hour and a half Bill watched through the first DVD. Most of the scenes were her mum with John and River. Her and John in the attic talking though theories. Or her and River arguing in the kitchen over some possible meaning of an art piece. Mels and John painting the ceiling of her room. The laughter and the jokes. River setting the camera up and joining them. The paint war started between them. It made Bill's heart race and she smiled brightly. She knew how her mum sounded. How her laughter sounded. What she sounded like when she argued. It was something she never thought she could have. It made her cry too, because she had to learn this from a video and not just know it. 

Just as she switched to the next DVD Moira poked her head into her room. “You’re alright Billy?” She asked softly and Bill wished away her tears. “Yeah…just a bit emotional.”

Moira smiled and then sighed. “I’d like to say go to bed, but I think you will just continue watching behind my back, so…”

Bill grinned. “I won’t complain, I promise.”

Moira nodded and closed the door.

The video came to life with her mum in focus. She was a lab, Bill realized after a moment. And she was grinning like mad.

“This is Melody Potts. It’s the 24th of may 1998. With me is Missy Masters and we are in the chemistry lab to make an experiment.” 

A woman hopped up from below the table. With a manic grin and a noise of victory. “Got it Mels.” She said and Bill blinked at her.  _ That was Missy? _

For some reason, Bill had thought of someone older. With gray hair and wrinkles. This woman was like River. Blues eyes, much like Johns. Intense and manic. But her hair was darker and wild in a way that not even Bill could put in words. Ok the clothing was strange much like the victorian style, but honestly it wasn’t the worst Bill had ever seen. Ms. Lem could be…intense.

Missy was holding a container in her hands. It was filled with a lot of stuff.

“For the record and yes I’m talking to John right now. It is a  _ scientific  _ experiment. That’s why we’re filming this.”

A moment later her mum started to explain.

Bill didn’t understand half of it, but the pure energy and laughter of the two women grabbed her attention. 

Missy was practically bouncing on the toes and so was her mum. They worked seamlessly together. At the same time they were bickering about everything. More than once, Bill had to bite her knuckles to not scream, when one of them was holding some kind of chemical without really looking where they were holding it. 

It was a scene of raw beauty and the most stressing thing Bill had seen so far. 

“Ok if we put this in…” Her mum bowed over a piece of paper they had been passing between them for the whole time. “…then it should work.” 

Bill didn’t really feel like they should do this, especially with the wavering tone her mother was speaking with. 

“Well then Pottsy,” Missy didn’t even seem to notice the tone her mother was having. “Let’s do it.” And before Bill could even blink, Missy had taken the glas with a clear kind of fluid and poured it into the bigger bowl.

Bill stopped breathing and it seemed so did her mum. Nothing happened. And for a moment longer nothing happened. 

“Uh…disappoin…” Missy started and turned, but just then the liquid turned milky. Bill's mum suddenly gasped and grabbed Missy dragging her behind the teacher's desk.

They hadn’t started the experiment on the teachers desk, probably because of this, but still the sudden explosion of bubbling and hissing foam was loud and startling.

The camera turned dark.

Bill started at the monitor of her laptop. It was quiet and dark for all of ten seconds then it came back to life.

It was shaking, like someone was running with the camera in hand. After a moment Bill could hear panting breaths and the sound of many steps. People running and mumbling in confusion.

There were fire alarms screaming over everything.

And then River came into focus. The angle was strange from below like she was hiding the camera or pressing it against her chest to keep it steady. She was still running, but there was a maniac gleam in her eyes. 

“Missy and Mels just blew up one of the chem labs.” She said and Bill blinked. 

“I may or may not be the reason for that.” River continued and then there was John screaming.

“Stopp filming RIVA!” He said and the camera turned. He was in front of River running. Bill snorted.

“He looks like a penguin with his ass on fire.” Bill whispered.

“I don’t know who allowed Missy into the lab on her own, but her and Mels?”

The camera turned back to River.

“I got the experiment from one of John's uncles and I may or may not have left it on the table.” River whispered between laughter. 

“Oh I hope they made a mess worth the lecture John will give us.”

And then the camera turned again. River skirted to a halt and the camera stopped shaking. John stood in an open door. His chest was heaving and he was strangely pale. The door was open and River was slowly coming closer. 

“What the fuck…” John whispered and River turned the camera from his face to the lab.

There was white foam everywhere. 

The doors, the tables, windows and ceilings. Everything was loaded with a thin or thicker layer of foam. Bill squinted at the picture. “Is that stuff turning blue?” She whispered and just a head of mess brown hair popped up behind the teacher's desk. 

“I thought this would be more spectacular.” Missy stated and her mum popped up next to her. 

“I mean…” Her mum said and looked up to the ceiling. “It does turn blue.”

“MISSY!” John thundered and to Bill's surprise Missy didn’t even blink. Her mum on the other hand seemed to jump out of her skin.

Missy instead slowly turned her head to face John and smiled brightly. 

“Heya Theta, how are you?” She asked and behind the camera River resolved to giggled.

There wasn’t much more of the scene, only the audio John screaming at Missy and her mum and River laughing. 

The next scene was back in John and River’s house. John was holding the camera, talking about how River and Mels had been arguing for the last half hour, about some strange history tidbits. They were setting the table again, River placing the plates on the table and her mum, next to her the silverware. It was a bit amusing how her mum was waving three knives through the air.

“What I’m saying mum is, that you can’t just say that…” 

Bill blinked. River had frozen a hand over her mouth and she looked like she was about to cry.

“River…are you…"

Her mum looked up confused and a bit scared and for a moment she looked directly into the camera. Then her eyes flickered up. “What…John why…”

John let out what sounded like a startled laugh. When he spoke his voice was only a whisper. 

“Mels, your…you called her mum.” 

Bill watched her mum freeze. The knives fell from her hands and she looked at River in horror.

“I…I’m…” She whispered and took a step back. 

“I’m sorry.” Her mum said and Bill realized that her mum wasn’t seeing River’s surprise, but horror. Her mum didn’t understand that River was shocked, but happy. Couldn’t understand that River liked being called mum. For her mum it was that River was stoked, because she, Mel’s, had no right to call her that.

Bill understood. She had called one of her foster mums once, when she was younger and she had been scolded for it. Something like this burned in. And from what John and River had told her, her mum had been in the system as well, before she came to her friends family.

“NO” River said, horror and anger in her voice and her mum jerked back. A moment later River had wrapped her mum up in a tight hug. Cradling her head against her neck.

“Don’t ever apologize for that.” River said. Her voice is tight and resolute.

“Do you hear me? Don't ever apologize for this.” The camera was shaking. Soft small tremors. Bill wondered if John was crying.

“I don’t know why you think I wouldn’t be delighted if you call me mum, but I love it. Mel’s all my live people told me I would never have children. I would never be a mother, but you know what? I have you.” Bill whipped the tears away that were rolling down her cheeks and took her sight. This was so much like River showing her her room in their house. Telling her how much they wanted her in their lives. Because she was family. It made the fact that they really wanted Bill even more real. 

“You deserve a family Mels,” River whispered. “and if you want us to be that family, then we’re delighted to be it. But never, ever feel like calling me mum's the wrong thing. You are allowed to do that.”

The camera was put on a table and the picture was turned to the side, so that Bill could barely see River and her mum any longer. Still she could see John walking up to them and hugging them both. And she heard him. 

“My girls.” He said.

The screen went black again and then the DVD menu popped up. Bill hesitated for a moment. It was 1am. She had school in eight hours. She probably should go to bed. But there were three more DVD’s and she wanted to see what else she could learn about her mum.

The next DVD’s started with a close up shot of her mum’s face. “Ok, Missy. The camera is working.” She said and the camera turned to see a slightly put out Missy leaning against a kitchen counter. Bill frowned a bit. That wasn’t John and River’s kitchen. There were a lot of voices and laughter in the background too.

“Why exactly do I have to film it?” 

“MISSY!” Her mum whined and Bill was the other woman smirked. Bill suddenly realized that Missy probably was the fun wine aunt everyone was always talking about. Especially with that gleam in her eyes.

“Ok, Ok Pottsy.” Missy said and took the camera.

It turned back to her mum and Bill realized that her mum looked worried and excited and nervous.

“Ok…ok…” Her mum whispered and grabbed two thin wrapped presents. Bill blinked and then the Christmas tree in the background came into view. 

“Stop freaking yourself out Pottsy. You’re acting like they won’t immediately agree.”

Bill wasn’t sure what Missy was talking about, but what she could understand clearly, was the fact that her mum was nervous beyond reason. At least for Bill.

“Ok, so we’re going in there now and…”

There was a flurry of motion, that the camera translated into a whirlpool of colors, a shriek and then silence. 

When the camera turned into focus again. There was a room full of people staring at the Missy. Including her mum who was glaring.

“I’m going to stab you in your sleep!” Someone snorted. 

“Promised, promises.” Missy sang and Bill could see John in the bag ground.

“That’s River’s line.” He said dryly. Missy made a sound.

“Melody, dear, why is Melissa holding a camera?” The voice belonged to a man sitting on one of the couches. He was old and his voice was creaking, but his eyes twinkled just like Johns always did. Next to him sat a woman with wild hair and a bright smile. 

“I…” His mum stuttered and Bill heard Missy sigh. Still she didn’t say anything instead she stayed quiet. 

Bill used that to look at the people in the room.

If Bill saw them all it was about nineteen of them. Most of them men. Bill couldn’t see all of them, but it seemed they were smiling. Some of them stood out. A man with a ridiculous long scarf. A short man fiddling with a flute. Was that a question mark umbrella?

A young girl with bright blond hair got Bill's attention for a moment. She wondered, who that was.

“I have one more present for you…” Her mum said and Bill snapped back to attention.

River and John sat cuddling on an armchair. Both of them smiled, but it was River who finally stood up when Mels didn’t move closer to them.

“Thank you sweet.” River said, kissing her mum's cheek. John stood up and took the other present. 

Missy walked to the side so she could capture the looks on John and River’s faces, at the same time she could see her mums.

Bill tried to look at River unwrapping the present but John got her attention.

“You’re alright?” He asked softly, touching her mum's arms and she nodded. 

“Yeah just…” Her mum shrugged. “Penny in the air.” John groaned, but smiled.

River gasped, swayed and sat down on the lean of a nearby sofa, hard. 

“RIVER?” There were several shouts and the man sitting on the sofa, a younger one with floppy hair, wrapped for her and helped her up.

“Penny dropped.” Her mum whispered.

River’s eyes snapped up to look at Mels and there were tears in her eyes. “Really?” Her voice was wavering and shaking. Her mum nodded.

River looked to John. “Open it. Open it now!” She said, slapping his arm, asi if to hurry him up.

John immediately ripped open the present. Bill watched as River reached up and hugged her mum tightly. A moment later John joined them.

“What is happening?” Someone asked. There was a faint Scottish accent in his voice.

“Mel’s asked them to adopt her.” 

It was the young man with the floppy hair, she was grinning brightly. 

“Damn it.” Someone cursed. Someone else laughed. “I told you she would ask and not John.”

“I said she would wait until December.”

Missy’s voice cut through them all. “And I was the only one saying Mels was going to ask on Christmas, so give me your money, Old men!” 

“Did you bet on when we would adopt Melody?” John asked sharply. River looked like she was laughing and Bill's mum seemed to sway between laughing and crying.

There was a beat of silence and then a chorus of “Yes!” 

River’s face came into view and Bill actually jerked back. River looked positively murderous. Bill recognized her workshop, even with the different decorations.

“Ok, so yesterday, Mels came home. At 10pm, crying, because her boyfriend left her.” River stood and turned around. Her hands carding through her hair. 

“Melody is pregnant. My girl is pregnant and her ass of a boyfriend left her.” River turned back to the camera, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Like he left the country, leaving everything. His clothes, his stuff, his car!” 

Bill watched River pace and growl for a moment. 

“Ok…” She finally said and turned once more to the camera.

“Here’s what I’m trying to do: I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him leave my baby. And if I have to turn the world apart. No way I’m going to let him return one day with the demand of being a father.”

There was another beat of silence and River cursed in the language she and John loved so much.

“Ok, Mels, darling, if you ever see this,” River took the camera and held it up to her face.

“This is not the end! You have us and you have Missy…Oh I’m going to call Missy, she will help!”

River shook her head and turned back to the camera.

“Mels. baby. I love you and I’ll be there for you. No matter what. This baby? We are going to raise them and they will be amazing. Just like you. They will have the best mum in the world and they may not have their dad? But they will have the best granddad and so many uncles and great-grandpas and…Mels we will not leave you alone. I promise.”

River smiled at the camera and Her face got even softer.

“To the little one. My first grandchild. I may not be your biological grandma, but you are loved. I love you so much. Even though I only know about you since yesterday. I’ll turn the word apart if I have to, if that means you’re safe and happy. I promise you, sweetie. I love you no matter what you do or who you become. You’re my grandchild and nobody can change that. Not your idiot of a father or the world with their stupid prejudice. You’re mine. You’re family. Any I love you.”

Bill stopped the video and pressed her hand over her mouth. 

That…that was too much. It hurt, but in the best possible way, because that was what River had told her since Monday. The words she and John had repeated since they had first talked to her in the school hallway. 

But this, this was better, because those words that had been to a person not even born. To a person they didn’t even know. River had said those words intending to fulfill them. And she still did.

Bill’s heart broke and healed at the same time, because she yearned for the lost years. She yearned for the possibility of growing up with River and John. Happy and contented. And at the same time she was even more sure that she would be happy from now on. Because those two meant it. They wanted her.

With all her past and her edges. They loved her.

“Missy is holding the camera again!” The man who said that was wearing a victorian coat and Bill really wanted to know who came up with the clothing choices for this family.

“Did you adopt another child?” The man with the ruff voice said. River snorted and John sighed. 

“No dad we didn’t.” Bills eyes snapped back to the man. That was John's dad? That was her great grandfather?

“But we have new’s!” River said in a sing-song voice. “If you're pregnant, River I’m leaving the country.” “BENNY!” 

Benny, the one with the floppy hair, just shrugged. “Think about it, a child of John and Rivers. Mels is a force of nature, imagine one of their blood.” There was a beat of silence and Bill snorted at the stunned and a bit horrified faces.

“I’m pregnant.” Missy said in the most dry tone. “With John’s child.” 

Someone streaked and Benny stood up. He bowed down and …was that a fez?

“Nice meeting you all. I’m moving to America!” 

“River?” An older woman with bright red hair said. She sounded airily like River. 

“Please tell us Missy is joking.” A blond man said. Bill noticed he had River’s nose.

River snorted. 

“Missy isn’t pregnant.” Her mum said and it was the first time Bill saw her. She looked nervous and all at the same time and Bill noticed the wide dress she was wearing.

“I am.” 

There was a beat of silence and her mum exhaled. “And my asshole of a boyfriend left the country.”

“And he won’t come back.” There was something dangerous and unnerving about the way River and Missy said this at the same time. John only sighed. 

“Is he still in one piece?” Someone asked and River made a wavy kind of hand motion. “Mostly. Do you want something from him, Johnathan?” 

And the spell was broken.

“I’m a grandma!” The redhead screamed. 

“You’re already a grandma, mum. You're going to be a great-grandma.” The redhead, River’s mum, waved River off.

“Shut up and let me enjoy the moment.”

“Her name is Wilhelmina.” Her mum said and she sounded so exhausted. She was wearing a hospital gown. A pair of hands appeared and then the camera zoomed back. There was a nurse carefully taking the baby from her mom's arms. 

_ Me _

Bill thought and was a bit dumbfounded about the fact. This was her birth why the fuck were they filming her birth?

“Who is the father?” The nurse asked and smiled at the camera. She looked a bit sheepish, but Bill had the feeling she was used to this.

“No father, only grandparents.” River’s voice sounded from behind the camera and Bill watched the face of the nurse turn sour for a moment.

“Of course, then who will take her for now.” 

John stepped forward and took baby Bill from the nurse. Bill watched with fascination how easily he took her in and held her close. He seemed to know exactly what to do.

His face was utterly besotted and Bill heated River chuckled from her hind the camera. It sounded a bit wet. 

“Hello Billy.” John muttered.

“We are not calling my daughter Billy.” Her mum said from the bed. “I’m fine with Bill, but if you call her Billy I’m leaving you.”

River giggled and John looked utterly affronted. “No problem dear.” River said.

“Bill is just perfect.”

“Hey there, Bill.”

John's face came into view and Bill blinked. They still were in the hospital, but it was darker outside. There was only a single light burning in the room and it made the room look warm and homey.

“It’s been there hours since you were born and I’m still not sure if this is real.” 

The camera turned and focused on her mum, sleeping in the hospital bed.

“For once, because Mels is sound asleep and it’s not even after midnight.”

Bill snorted. She got the implication. Her mum was a night owl. 

The camera turned again and focused in on River sleeping on a chair, her arms tightly around a bundle of blankets. Bill realized the scene from the picture on the wall of their living room.

“Look at her. My wife, just as bad as Melody and still she’s sleeping. She has been waiting for this ever since we found out that Mel’s is pregnant. Sometimes I think she was more happy about the pregnancy than Mels.”

The camera turned again and John's face came into view. He was smiling brightly and happily. His eyes twinkled like mad and there was joy written all over his face.

“I never thought I would live to see this moment. A granddaughter. Bill, dear I’ve been waiting for you for so much longer that you can imagine and I’m so happy that you’re here.”

His flickered to the side, as if something caught his attention. When they looked back at the camera they were a lot more solemn.

“I’ll be there for you, I promise Bill. I’ll be your dad and your best friend and your uncle and whatever you want me to be. I’ll protect you like I protect Melody and River. You’re family and I’ll never let you down I promise.”

Bill tried her best, but in the end she had to stop the video again. She couldn’t concentrate on her as a baby, with tears streaming down her face.

How could it be that those two idiots were this good with words? How could it be that they said the right thing long before they needed to say it? 

Bill wanted to scream, because a part of her still wanted to rage at John and River for letting her go into the system no matter that they never had a change. They had promised her that they would be there for her. That they would love her and look at what happened.

Bill had grown up alone. In the system On the worst side of the system. Without family without the love she apparently could have gotten.

One other hadn't. Bill wanted to cry, because those two. Those idiots managed to say just the right thing. Before Bill was even born, just after she was born. They said exactly what Bill wanted to hear. What she needed to hear and they had said it years before she needed to hear it.

Bill wanted desperately to go to their place and curl up between them. She wanted River’s hugs and John's hand brushing over her hair. 

But it was 2:30am and she didn’t think either of them was awake. Or that Moira would take it lightly that Bill had just left the house in the middle of the night.

So Bill sat tight, waiting for the day to begin. For the day to end, so she could go to her grandparents' place. Because she had them, Grandparents. The thought made her smile.

Bill continued watching the video.

She watched her first steps and her early childhood. She watched her first word (Tadiws- Oh her mum was pissed about this one). She watched her first birthday and how the chocolate cake landed everywhere, but her mouth. 

She watched shaky videos of a lecture hall where John stood, lecturing about physics and a baby Bill on his hip.

And then just after her second birthday the video went dark instead there was a picture of a newspaper article. 

“Young professor dies in a hit and run accident and leaves a daughter behind.” 

She didn’t dare to read past the headline. She didn’t dare to read the next five articles. Especially the one about the fire.

And then the pictures vanished. Instead there was River’s workshop again.

River looked at the camera, tears streaming down her face. She was wearing black. Her hair tied back. Her hands were shaking. When she finally looked into the camera heads on, Bill recoiled. There was so much pain in her eyes. So much lost and broken.

“Hey Billy.” She whispered.

“Today is your eight birthday…” River stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. “I’ll probably need to introduce myself, because you don’t know who I am…”

River tried her best to smile, but it looked like a grimace.

“I’m River and I’m your grandma and I love you baby.” Bill tried her best to keep her breathing even.

“Today is your birthday, baby.” River sipped her eyes with her hands and a bit of mascara smeared all over her face.

“And we thought we could finally celebrate it with you. You know we, that’s John- your Grandpa- and I, we left England six years ago and we thought it would only take a few months.” 

River sniffed.

“Instead we were gone for five years. And we come home to you and your mum is gone.” River sniffled again.

“Oh baby I’m so sorry. We were meant to be your guardians and we promised you that we would protect you, but instead you’re gone. Gone like your mum. And instead of celebrating your birthday we just buried you and…”

Bill stopped cold. That wasn’t true right? The fire had been after her birthday. The…

It wasn’t she realized. It had been a maybe two weeks before her birthday.

“Fuck…” Bill whispered.

“I’m not sure me and John will be together much longer, not with you gone too. We face so much this past year and…”

River turned her head away.

“I’m so sorry Bill. I promised you that I would always protect you and I would be there for you. Look what I did! I…”

Bill shut the DVD’s player. She couldn’t do this right now. 

Not a 4:30 in the morning. She couldn’t deal with grief like this. She could watch this and face the memories. She wasn’t strong enough for this. Not right now.

***

So Bill had made herself a cuppa and sat in the living room until Moira had stood up. She couldn’t sleep, not with the memories lurking at the edge of her consciousness.

“Bill?” 

Paul's voice brought her out of her memories. 

“Sorry.” She whispered weakly. “I was thinking about the last days.” Her friends didn’t know about the videos, well Heather did, but no-one else.

“Much to think about huh?” Bill nodded.

“Miss Potts” They all jumped when Ms. Lems' voice called her. When Bill looked up she looked up to meet the eyes of a pissed off Felicity and her teacher. She looked just as pissed off as her friend.

“Comm now, Ms Potts. Your turn.” 

Bill sighed and stood up.

“Can I just be quiet for the whole time?” Bill asked quietly and Ms. Lem snorted.

“Someone tried that yesterday, they have to do it again today and got detention.” Bill sighed and just sat down in front of the camera.

Looking at the lease was a bit like a slap to the face. Especially with her she had spent the night.

_ I’m so sorry Bill. I promised you that I would always protect you and I would be there for you. Look what I did! _

River’s voice rang through her head and Bill closed her eyes.

“Miss Potts.” Headmaster Octavian was way too cheerful. “Please start your name and class and then we will ask you the question of this year. Then you have five minutes to answer it.” 

_ And then I can go home to my grandparents _

Bill thought. Maybe a bit too viciously.

“Ok.” 

The camera was turned on. And Bill did as she was told.

“The question for this year is: What is the true religion?” 

Bill noticed Ms. Lem twitching and for a moment she wondered if her teacher was going to rip off Octavian’s head. Bill wouldn’t say a word. For a moment they all just sat there. Her teacher’s looking at her and Bill, not seeing them at all.

“Miss Pot…”

“I don’t think there is a true religion.” Bill blared out. And she couldn’t even enjoy his dumbfounded look. 

“Because if there is…then that would mean someone is out there deciding what kind of life we live. I would mean that there is someone that looks at us and thinks, yes she deceivers that kind of life. It would mean someone thinks it is fine to rip apart a family and leave children with abusive people that only care for the money they get not the child.”

There was deafening silence in the room, but Bill refused to look at either the camera or the teachers. Instead she stared at the table. There were a few words written on it. A fingerprint in black ink on the left corner.

Bill to a deep breath and spoke up again.

“And at the same time I think maybe there is really someone out there. No matter the religion. There is someone, just a single person, who runs between all those awful people deciding fate. Running their feet bloody to give people what they really deserve. Happiness and love and security.” Bill felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Because I couldn’t imagine how my life turned around on Monday in the way it did without someone who really cared. A person, one single person running all their life to help. Help the people that need their help. Help the people that had been left alone. That have been played like pans by fate or whatever the asshole is called.”

Bill smiled at the key around her neck. 

“Life is a bitch and so is karma, but there is someone who really cares for us. So no I don’t think there is a true religion, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone looking after us.”

Bill glanced at the camera and the stunned look of the headmaster. She saw the smiles of the teachers and the wink in Ms. Lem’s eyes.

Bill straightened. “I don’t have more to say, so I don’t need the rest of my time. Have a good day.”

And with that she stood and left. She left the room to see her friends look up with surprise. Bill smiled at them and waved goodbye. 

“I see you on Monday.” She said and left the hallway. That was the only good thing about this stupid thing. They got to leave once they did their interview.

Bill walked through the hallway of her school and left it with a smile. Outside leaning against an old car were River and John smiling at each other as they bickered. One of the security people eyes them angrily and Bill realized that it was the same man that had taken them out on Monday.

Bill looked at her grandparents. The people she was supposed to grow up with. 

The people that had promised her the world before she was even born. They had meant it, but they never got the change to keep their promises. 

Bill smiled as John leaned down and kissed River softly. 

She really had a shitty life, but she realized with a smile, that she meant what she had said.

“Bill!” River called out and Bill smiled and ran down the stairs. She threw herself into their arms and hugged them tightly.

“I love you guys.” 

She whispered.

Maybe there really was only one person caring for them, among a sea of assholes. But Bill couldn’t care less. There was one and that was enough.

One person responding to every help call. Trying their best to change the world to the better, no matter how much it hurt them.

They must be lonely. Really lonely, a lonely god, but Bill was grateful for them. After all they gave her her family back.

“Let’s go home.” 

She whispered and smiled weakly at her grandparents. They still had a lot to do, before they could be the family they were meant to be, but Bill thought that, that was alright. 

She had a home and that was all she ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. This story is done, but there is more to come. I have a bunch of stores in my had based on this AU and I'll write them. Mostly because this fandom has too much pain and angst.  
> I plan on writing purely fluff I this AU.  
> Anyway, see you  
> Love Raven


End file.
